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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I’d rather be dead.

447 replies

despairingandunhappy · 09/08/2020 13:50

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

OP posts:
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Vodkacranberryplease · 09/08/2020 13:51

Just fucking LTB. Seriously you won't be worse off will you?

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sitckmansladylove · 09/08/2020 13:51

Sad op have anyone you can talk to in real life ? This is no way to live.

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Cheeseandlobster · 09/08/2020 13:51

Call Women's Aid Op - you deserve better than this. They can advise you of your options

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Doyoumind · 09/08/2020 13:53

Do you have DC?

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Lemming20 · 09/08/2020 13:53

Please call Womens Aid straight away and get out. This is no way to live. Good luck x

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Sexnotgender · 09/08/2020 13:53

I’m sorry OP. Is there a way out for you?

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despairingandunhappy · 09/08/2020 13:54

I’ve got an 8 month old baby. Family are unable to help.

OP posts:
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Choice4567 · 09/08/2020 13:54

Why don’t you have any money left? What’s it going on? Why are you with him when he’s like this?

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despairingandunhappy · 09/08/2020 13:55

His nice clothes, his takeaways, his fucking car

OP posts:
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ShebaShimmyShake · 09/08/2020 13:56

Death isn't the only possible escape. You could leave.

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Doyoumind · 09/08/2020 13:56

There is always a solution. You do need to speak to someone urgently.

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Vodkacranberryplease · 09/08/2020 13:56

In the meantime anything he has of value can magically vanish and go on eBay. Go on Nextdoor and offer dog walking/babysitting and don't tell him. When you have zero everything is an improvement.

There's a site called (I think) entitled to which gives you an idea of benefits. Threads on how to make bits of money (in chat I think). Talk to citizens advice and women's aid and look at going homeless with the children, assuming you don't own the property. Find out what your finances are and what your rights are and leave.

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JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 09/08/2020 13:57

You need to leave. Surely a refuge or shelter would be better than being subjected to this. Can you tell us your general area so we can help with links and resources for you? You DO NOT NEED TO BE THERE!

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ClamDango · 09/08/2020 13:58

No money and no food and you've got a baby. Jeez. Do your friends know. You should leave, stay with a friend and contact womens aid. Do you own your house or rent. Are you claiming benefits which can help.

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Icanflyhigh · 09/08/2020 13:59

You need to get him away from you and DC right now. As in right NOW.
You deserve better than this.
4 days before payday? Your payday? His? Or the day that benefits hit the bank? YOU need to take control of what you're entitled to, a separate account for you and DC, and tell him to go fuck himself.

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Sexnotgender · 09/08/2020 13:59

Please contact women’s aid.

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SerenityNowwwww · 09/08/2020 13:59

Are family aware?

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Icanflyhigh · 09/08/2020 14:02

Depending on your area, I can help you today? I have a spare room, a cot and cupboards full of food to feed you both with. I was financially abused for years and ExH would sit and laugh at me as he watched me raiding the kids piggy bank for enough money to buy a pint of milk for breakfast knowing he had over £1k cash in his coat pocket.

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Patbutcherismyhero · 09/08/2020 14:07

There is help for you. And even as a single mother on benefits you will be better off financially than you are now. And without this abusive wanker dragging you down you can work towards a better life for you and your baby.

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ClementineWoolysocks · 09/08/2020 14:09

Am I reading it right that he's buying nice clothes, takeaways and spending on a car for himself while leaving you and your child without food? You need to leave, contact a women's shelter as a first step and get yourself out of there. Please leave, do not subject your child to being brought up in this environment.

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Chickychickydodah · 09/08/2020 14:09

You need to get rid of him and get help.

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TheGirlWithAPrince · 09/08/2020 14:15

What are you going to do when you have a child to provide food for and school uniforms for? and school dinners, and play dates and birthdays and christmas's and birthdays...

Sorry to say but your in for a tough time : /

I would LTB

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Sunrise234 · 09/08/2020 14:22

Why are you with him?

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Vodkacranberryplease · 09/08/2020 14:24
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GinDrinker00 · 09/08/2020 14:29

Please get in touch with women’s aid.

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