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I’d rather be dead.

(448 Posts)

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despairingandunhappy Sun 09-Aug-20 13:50:03

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

OP’s posts: |
Vodkacranberryplease Sun 09-Aug-20 13:51:03

Just fucking LTB. Seriously you won't be worse off will you?

sitckmansladylove Sun 09-Aug-20 13:51:31

sad op have anyone you can talk to in real life ? This is no way to live.

Cheeseandlobster Sun 09-Aug-20 13:51:38

Call Women's Aid Op - you deserve better than this. They can advise you of your options

Doyoumind Sun 09-Aug-20 13:53:03

Do you have DC?

Lemming20 Sun 09-Aug-20 13:53:18

Please call Womens Aid straight away and get out. This is no way to live. Good luck x

Sexnotgender Sun 09-Aug-20 13:53:44

I’m sorry OP. Is there a way out for you?

despairingandunhappy Sun 09-Aug-20 13:54:11

I’ve got an 8 month old baby. Family are unable to help.

OP’s posts: |
Choice4567 Sun 09-Aug-20 13:54:27

Why don’t you have any money left? What’s it going on? Why are you with him when he’s like this?

despairingandunhappy Sun 09-Aug-20 13:55:18

His nice clothes, his takeaways, his fucking car

OP’s posts: |
ShebaShimmyShake Sun 09-Aug-20 13:56:15

Death isn't the only possible escape. You could leave.

Doyoumind Sun 09-Aug-20 13:56:17

There is always a solution. You do need to speak to someone urgently.

Vodkacranberryplease Sun 09-Aug-20 13:56:40

In the meantime anything he has of value can magically vanish and go on eBay. Go on Nextdoor and offer dog walking/babysitting and don't tell him. When you have zero everything is an improvement.

There's a site called (I think) entitled to which gives you an idea of benefits. Threads on how to make bits of money (in chat I think). Talk to citizens advice and women's aid and look at going homeless with the children, assuming you don't own the property. Find out what your finances are and what your rights are and leave.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe Sun 09-Aug-20 13:57:02

You need to leave. Surely a refuge or shelter would be better than being subjected to this. Can you tell us your general area so we can help with links and resources for you? You DO NOT NEED TO BE THERE!

ClamDango Sun 09-Aug-20 13:58:00

No money and no food and you've got a baby. Jeez. Do your friends know. You should leave, stay with a friend and contact womens aid. Do you own your house or rent. Are you claiming benefits which can help.

Sexnotgender Sun 09-Aug-20 13:59:19

Please contact women’s aid.

Icanflyhigh Sun 09-Aug-20 13:59:19

You need to get him away from you and DC right now. As in right NOW.
You deserve better than this.
4 days before payday? Your payday? His? Or the day that benefits hit the bank? YOU need to take control of what you're entitled to, a separate account for you and DC, and tell him to go fuck himself.

SerenityNowwwww Sun 09-Aug-20 13:59:37

Are family aware?

Icanflyhigh Sun 09-Aug-20 14:02:41

Depending on your area, I can help you today? I have a spare room, a cot and cupboards full of food to feed you both with. I was financially abused for years and ExH would sit and laugh at me as he watched me raiding the kids piggy bank for enough money to buy a pint of milk for breakfast knowing he had over £1k cash in his coat pocket.

Patbutcherismyhero Sun 09-Aug-20 14:07:38

There is help for you. And even as a single mother on benefits you will be better off financially than you are now. And without this abusive wanker dragging you down you can work towards a better life for you and your baby.

ClementineWoolysocks Sun 09-Aug-20 14:09:14

Am I reading it right that he's buying nice clothes, takeaways and spending on a car for himself while leaving you and your child without food? You need to leave, contact a women's shelter as a first step and get yourself out of there. Please leave, do not subject your child to being brought up in this environment.

Chickychickydodah Sun 09-Aug-20 14:09:29

You need to get rid of him and get help.

TheGirlWithAPrince Sun 09-Aug-20 14:15:39

What are you going to do when you have a child to provide food for and school uniforms for? and school dinners, and play dates and birthdays and christmas's and birthdays...

Sorry to say but your in for a tough time : /

I would LTB

Sunrise234 Sun 09-Aug-20 14:22:34

Why are you with him?

Vodkacranberryplease Sun 09-Aug-20 14:24:10

Here's a thread that had some useful posts OP

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3987665-Desperate-for-money-help-me-figure-out-what-I-can-do-please

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