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Relationships

Defensiveness

2 replies

Twinklelittlestar1 · 09/08/2020 01:25

Any tips to deal with this? DP is so defensive and it's the bane of our relationship. Eg I'll comment that the kitchen is a bit messy and he'll get angry about me moaning. I was unhappy with him tonight because he woke me up when he got into bed and he went mad because I hadn't left enough room, ranting and raving as he grabbed the cushions to go into the other room.

It's like constantly walking on eggshells and I end up doubting myself constantly or holding my tongue about things that bother me so they don't get turned around. How do I deal with this? Is there anything I can do? He acknowledges that he does this and he's working on it but I find it exhausting and suffocating when it happens. I can't have my feelings heard and in turn that affects my self esteem.

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/08/2020 07:45

Yes you can do something here and that is end this abusive relationship before your self esteem and self worth drop ever lower. Plan your exit now with due care re your safety. He is not working on anything at all is he?.

It is not your fault he is like this and you did not make him that way. Look at his parents OP; chances are one of them behave the exact same way. This is who he is and when someone tells you who they are it pays to believe them.