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Feeling lonely and lost

(11 Posts)
Thirdwheeler Sat 08-Aug-20 21:40:25

My DP left me a few weeks ago, I thought we were fine and it came as a real shock, he pretty much just walked out and didn’t come back. Had a few text conversations since but all pretty rude and abrupt.
I just feel so awful, we were together a few years and had a whole life together and now it’s all gone. I feel so lonely and sad and am really struggling to deal with it all.
I don’t know what I’m hoping for really, just feel like I don’t have any one to turn too

OP’s posts: |
krankykittykat Sat 08-Aug-20 22:03:05

What a twat
Has he given any indication of his reasons for leaving?
I've had this done and trust me it gets easier

copperoliver Sat 08-Aug-20 22:07:19

If he's that cold and weak you're better off without him, it's his loss.
Everything happens for a reason you will end up with a much better life. X

ChickensMightFly Sat 08-Aug-20 22:09:45

Awwwww that sounds so tough. The shock, the unanswered questions, the raw wound of unexpected loss. 😔
I think you have to try to get through the day one hour at a time to start with, for me that would be lining up as many distractions as possible such as meeting up with everyone willing for a chat one day after another etc, watching all my guilty pleasure binge programmes, going and doing the things I like but tended not to because it was his thing. And the really important one for getting your emotional sanity back... Exercise! What a difference that makes. Whatever you can/enjoy doing do it! If you are the type to keep putting it off route someone in to making to you stick to doing it. Something every day, even a little walk, doesn't matter, just get the body moving every day.
Sorry you are going through this, if you can survive a bit at a time you'll come through in the end.

jigglypuffcookie Sat 08-Aug-20 22:16:21

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm going through similar and I've found seeing friends, phoning family, posting on here and just changing things in the house is helping.
Definitely agree with above taking one day at a time. Some days are harder than others but you will get through this.

Thirdwheeler Sat 08-Aug-20 22:22:30

Thank you for your kind comments.
He has left a couple of times before, I’ve always talked him into coming back as I’ve wanted to make it work for my sake and my kids (not his) he says it was the biggest mistake leaving and he would never to it again.
He just said he was leaving as he is fed up and we were arguing, but it’s because he wouldn’t talk to me so I didn’t know what was going on for him but I knew something was wrong so I would ask and get shouted at.
Im finding it hard as I don’t really have any friends and not much family and everyone hates what he has done so because they believe im better off without him I should be over it by now.
I started doing better this week and then started missing him and the future I thought we had together and I feel like I’m back to square one

OP’s posts: |
Bosekct Sat 08-Aug-20 22:27:04

He has now left you 3 times. Do you really want someone like this in your children’s lives? You need to grieve for what you have lost but take steps to make things better for yourself. Loneliness is in the mind. You have children to keep you busy and friends. You need to move on from this dickhead

jigglypuffcookie Sat 08-Aug-20 22:35:10

Why would you be over it by now? It's ok to be sad that he's gone and your future has changed. Sometimes you will be doing brilliantly and other days need a cry.

If he keeps leaving you is it worth putting yourself through this every-time? You deserve so much better

Thirdwheeler Sun 09-Aug-20 21:49:38

Thank you for your messages. I’ve spent lots of time thinking and I know I’m better off and I deserve better but I just don’t know how to get over it. I start feeling a bit better and then it all hits me again and I’m struggling to sleep and eat which isn’t helping.
I just feel like my whole life and future has been taken away from me and there is nothing I can do about it, I feel so alone and hopeless

OP’s posts: |
jigglypuffcookie Tue 11-Aug-20 01:18:09

It feels awful doesn't it? Think this is just something you need to go through. The pain will go in time.

category12 Tue 11-Aug-20 06:48:22

This man wasn't your future.

It's going to take time, it's only been a few weeks, so let yourself be miserable and grieve the relationship.

Ride out the pain, it won't go on forever.

If needs be, go to the gp and get some support to tide you over..

Focus on getting through each day and do nice things for yourself and the children. Be kind to yourself.

He's just a man, life doesn't stop cos of a break up.

Don't chase him again or try to get him back, or take him back if he returns - someone who keeps leaving like this is no good for you or your dc.

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