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How do you split the bills in a relationship? I'm running out of money!

(174 Posts)
Newname88 Fri 07-Aug-20 12:48:06

I've lived more on my own since moving out of my parents house 12 years ago than i have with somebody so just looking to see whats normal.
Moved in with DP in Jan, i've always worked part time and received the benefits i was entitled to which meant i was living comfortably, but would have to save up to afford extras e.g birthdays/xmas etc.
Obviously since moving in together i am no longer entitled to those benefits and we split the bills 50/50 and then pay our own extra's e.g car insurance/tax, i pay the pet costs as they were my pets before we got together.
I am in my overdraft every month long before payday and am using my savings to cover me which are soon running out.
I dont buy unnessary items and i dont get my hair done/nails etc if anything the only extras i spend that i shouldnt are takeaways and days out with the DC, even if i cut back on those i would still be in my overdraft.
DP works full time and does alot of overtime too, on a good overtime month he could earn a good £500-£700 more a month but his company cut overtime since COVID and he now only earns about £200-300 more than me at the min.
He spends way more on extra's/personal stuff for himself but also spends money on us as a family etc.
What do other couples do when one earns more than the other? It's going to get to a point where i run out of savings and have nothing left!

OP’s posts: |
Sexnotgender Fri 07-Aug-20 12:49:50

We split proportionate to our earnings.

I earn more than DH so I pay 60% he pays 40%.

Bitchinkitchen Fri 07-Aug-20 12:50:56

We have a joint account, and each put the same % of our wages into that, which pays for all our bills, rent, food, petrol, meals out etc. Anything left over goes into our personal accounts and is for whatever we want.

Soontobe60 Fri 07-Aug-20 12:54:04

How many dc do you have, and are they all yours?

Scruffymac Fri 07-Aug-20 12:54:37

We do a budget every month, based on both of our payslips that month. Work out all expenses including savings bills etc. What ever is left gets divided in two and transferred to each of our fun accounts.

SoddingWeddings Fri 07-Aug-20 12:55:19

Why aren't you working full time? If you can't afford your lifestyle such as it is, that seems the obvious choice unless it's due to disability / health etc. You don't mention kids.

If you're capable of working FT, as a partner I'd expect you to be doing so rather than subsidise your lifestyle with mine.

SparkyBlue Fri 07-Aug-20 12:56:46

We have a joint account and everything goes into it and comes out of it. I'm a sahm so not earning right now but the money is our money.

Devlesko Fri 07-Aug-20 12:57:39

We don't have his and her money, we just pay the bills and if there's anything left over we spend it how we like.
So you should be getting back what you have lost from your benefits out of the joint money.

Embracelife Fri 07-Aug-20 12:57:54

How many dc and how old?
Do you get maintenance for the dc from their other parent?
Whose are the dc?
Has dp agreed to take on financial responsibility for your dc?
Could you work more hours?
Would you be better off living separately ?
Whose house is it?

You not married so it s up to you to agree.

Heartlake Fri 07-Aug-20 13:00:00

We have a joint account. Everything goes into and out of that. Very old-fashioned by MN standards but it works for us. Married for years, no ex-partners to worry about, we had next to nothing when we started out.

Coriandersucks Fri 07-Aug-20 13:00:31

We do by percentage too. I earn 25% more than dp so put that percentage in extra to the joint account each month. From that account we pay mortgage, food and bills then anything I we have left over we use as we want.

Mylittlepony374 Fri 07-Aug-20 13:01:57

Separate accounts. Each have bills we pay monthly that roughly equate to same amount e.g. I pay Sky, he pays for rubbish collection etc. Anything extra tends to be turnabout e.g. I paid for last dinner out so he will pay for next etc.
Different situation though as we earn pretty similar amounts.

Gin4thewin Fri 07-Aug-20 13:03:30

We used to split the bills but then id be left with the shopping, kids clothes, xmas etc etc and always end up worse off, no savings and dp would piss his money up the wall. So we got a joint account, all bills and wages go in/out of there and we have our own current account and we take 400 each for the month and then I take a set amount out each month and transfer it to a savings account.

NotaCoolMum Fri 07-Aug-20 13:04:29

@SoddingWeddings op said she has children

Mum4Fergus Fri 07-Aug-20 13:04:52

Joint current and savings accounts...everything goes in and out of the current account, anything left over each month goes into savings.

LovingLola Fri 07-Aug-20 13:04:56

Are the kids his?

Doyoumind Fri 07-Aug-20 13:05:21

Did you not do the calculations and discuss this before moving in? If your income has been unffected by Covid and you are struggling now things aren't going to improve.

BlingLoving Fri 07-Aug-20 13:05:32

Why are you splitting bills 50/50 when you earns o much less?

Also, why do men not seem to have a problem with their partners' barely being able to afford the odd takeaway while happily buying new cars, fancy gym memberships and being out for beers twice a week? WHY!?

CorianderLord Fri 07-Aug-20 13:06:59

35/65 split as proportionate to earnings. This is for bills, holidays etc. We split food equally and three spare money is ours individually.

You need to have conversations about what both of your monthly budgets are.

I'm surprised you sacrificed your benefits without him being willing to contribute to the shortfall/ you going full time

Chloemol Fri 07-Aug-20 13:07:46

Well you are on a good thing 50/50 as actually he is subsidising you are your DC. I assume you get maintenance for the kids if he is not the father? So see if that needs increasing, or get a full time job

MamaDane Fri 07-Aug-20 13:09:23

My DP pays for most as I earn 1/4 of what she earns. I don't understand splitting it 50/50 when you're a family

SanFrancisco49er Fri 07-Aug-20 13:12:30

Joint account and both of our salaries go fully into it.

Movinghouse2015 Fri 07-Aug-20 13:12:47

How old are your DC, are any of the children also his?

I know I'm this sounds awful, but you really needs to think long term when you have DC from previous relationships.

You need to consider not only benefits but uni funding and if the partner moving in realistically is willing to contribute long term.

unmarkedbythat Fri 07-Aug-20 13:12:48

We've always been one pot, since we moved in together. Doesn't matter who brings in what, it's ours equally and outgoings are ours equally. It works for us. I think that become a little more difficult when blending families, and if I was in that situation rather than my current one I would probably want us to have a joint bank account for all shared expenses (food, utilities, rent or mortgage, insurances, council tax, etc) that we contributed to proportionally in terms of our respective incomes. And I'd prefer if all children in the house were seen as a joint expense so as not to have to faff around reserving certain portions of my income for them only (i.e., keeping the child benefit aside and not using it as part of my income whan calculating my proportional contribution to the family pot), but again, I know that wouldn't work for some families.

Mywifeandkids1 Fri 07-Aug-20 13:19:32

All our money goes into one bank we share it all. No resentment that way

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