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Need some help please

2 replies

Whattodonow6322 · 07/08/2020 11:47

I was wondering if someone could give me some advice please? I just feel so lost at the moment. I ended my marriage 2 years ago as I was unhappy. We spent 2 years before that trying to improve things but my husband just gave up & decided I was leaving so what was the point.

I then met someone else who turned out to be rather controlling & would make me feel really anxious. He basically expected me to behave how he wanted & if I didn’t he would sulk for days & say horrible things to me.

I am now seeing another man who appears to be lovely but I am constantly looking out for things. If he doesn’t message I get worried he has changed his mind about me etc.

Anyway, I need to find my own self worth somehow. I know I feel the need for constant attention from whoever I am with. I have a pretty crap job & although I have friends a lot of them do not live close by. I just feel like my happiness depends on a man all the time. I am looking to be loved but don’t think I even love myself. I am very critical of everything I do from the way I look to my parenting skills. How can I turn my thinking around please?

I have had counselling & it did help a bit but I am still stuck in this negativity & over processing way of thinking.

I would really appreciate any advice that has helped you change x

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Skills2597 · 07/08/2020 12:06

I don't think you should be dating at the moment. Why not work on yourself first? Get to know you and what you want in life.

Dating when you are not ready can be dangerous. If you're vulnerable or have low self esteem, these men will make you a doormat. Why not take out some hobbies?

I wish you all the best.

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Whattodonow6322 · 07/08/2020 12:32

Thank you @Skills2597 I do need to work on myself. I feel like I have hit a brick wall & I don’t know how to get pass it.

I was hoping to change my job but now getting a new job seems impossible with all the redundancies etc. I need to get a hobby & was hoping it would lead to possible new friendships as well. However, I just don’t know how to when I have the children most of the time.

I know I shouldn’t be seeing someone at the moment but can’t seem to let go as his attention is the one thing that makes me smile 😔