He is sleeping and I’ve been awake ages so I’ve just written down all my feelings.
I’ve met this girl afew times, she seems nice. She is married with 2 kids. We have been together 11 years, married for 3 of those with first child on the way in January. I just am feeling paranoid and awful about them texting but I just don’t know how to bring it up with me because he gets annoyed that I’d even suggest anything was going on.
Whenever I ask who he is texting he always will tell me if it is her with no delay and I’ll ask what they’re chatting about and he’ll openly tell me.
He knows my paranoia stems from my dad being a cheating, deceptive knob. I just can’t help the way I feel and feel like I’m going to implode if I don’t talk to him about it.
If I send him this text for him to wake up to will I look like a crazy psycho wife or shall I just refer to it later when I’m (hopefully) going to pluck up the courage to talk to him about it. Do I even need to talk to him about it or shall I just believe the person who I love and married that he just had a friendship with someone who happens to be female and glued to her phone all day?!
How can I get past being paranoid?
Text us as follows (Apologies in advance is there’s typos!):
The whole texting think just makes me jealous and paranoid. I was telling you only the other week that I was feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment - mainly due to pregnancy hormones, my dream didn't help (I had a dream they had had an affair the night before). I know the quiz wasn't the right time to bring it up (was on mute from our weekly family Skype quiz at the time), but I think I just needed some reassurance. Not to be shot down as that made me feel even worse. I was on the verge of tears all evening and when we were in bed, I think you knew exactly what was wrong, you just didn't want to talk about it. It's on my mind allot.
I felt like last night you talked to her more than you talked to me.. your own wife vs someone you'd probably been talking to all day.
If the shoe was on the other foot, would you really and I mean really be 100% comfortable with me constantly texting another bloke? Would there not be a tiny piece of you that would be somewhat jealous and think that texting anymore than like 10 a day is inappropriate? I know that there is nothing untoward but it just makes me uncomfortable which you know.
Its made me uncomfortable even before Christmas (particularly since the '😘😘' which I'm sorry WAS inappropriate) (this was a message she sent to him that I saw and it accompanied her saying merry Xmas or something and he said she prob sent it to everyone) time so it's like 8 months I've been feeling like this.
Every time I ask who you are texting and you say LADY’S NAME my heart drops, I try and act like I'm ok but I get sad. What are you getting out of your relationship with LADY that you're not getting from me? That doesn't mean to say you should lie to me about it.
I suppose if I had more understanding of your friendship it wouldn't bother me so much.
I have barely slept because I keep waking up and thinking about it. And I've been awake since 6:15. It's quite frankly consumed me and the temptation to wake you up now is too much!! Now 7:02 and I am on the verge of tears again.
I know you're a good man but I also know you're a 'good catch', the 'full package' and I'm paranoid she wants you and she's subtly saying it and had been for months and it's going over your head and then one day you will twig and leave your fat, paranoid, knob head wife.
Just help me not feel this way, help me understand. Please. This is really starting to effect me.
If you’re still reading I really appreciate it, thanks for getting this far. I know I probably sound like loonatic. Does this message have any substance to it and I would I be within my right to sent it or would I just embarrass myself?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
AIBU to send this text to my husband about texting his female friend?
SkylinesTurnstiles · 07/08/2020 07:24
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