Hey I have already posted another thread about my current struggles so I’m sorry to start a new one. I’m just trying to process and understand MY issues with HIM and whether they are justified or whether I’m being a bitch basically. Just to start he has a way higher sex drive than me,,it has come to a point I have ZERO interest in it.
I feel like he his a little weird when it comes to sex or anything sex related eg my body.
Some of the issues I have, and I’ve told him, but he keeps doing it and huffing and puffing saying it’s cos he loves me and he wishes I would show him attention like this, so whenever I’m in the shower, changing, or anytime there is a chance of seeing a boob or vagina etc he is there...and I mean there. Like bending over to get the best view, he has to touch me when I’m in the shower EVERYTIME! I suppose the bending over to get a glimpse of down below is my worst issue I hate it, I feel like this is not normal behaviour! I find myself finding an opportunity to get changed etc as quick as I can before he realised just so I’m not being stared at. He is constantly making sexual comments all day every day and he gets annoyed at me when I don’t find it funny, especially when the kids are there, they are too young to understand but there will come a point they know what he’s meaning. He gets annoyed when my period arrives. He tells me when we’re having sex, for example I was called into work the other night and he got annoyed because he had planned that this night we were having so he informed me that it will have to be tomorrow then! I’ve found porn etc on his phone numerous times, him and the lads from work have a WhatsApp sharing picture of girls from the internet etc but I’ve got to a point I don’t even care about that anymore, I saw he was following some glamour models on Twitter a few years ago and it really upset me as I’m quite self conscious and he was really apologetic and said he’s unfollowed them. But there’s more on there now,,,again that don’t really bother me more the fact if it was the other way round I would know about it!! He’s constantly accusing me of cheating, I can’t like a male song on the radio because that means I fancy him, he says it in a joking way but he goes on and on....
when we do have sex, I can’t stand it. I don’t enjoy it, basically it’s lay on your back for a few pumps, turn onto your back for a few pumps, different position few pumps etc with a lot of fingers in between and really looking at me down there, I tell
Him I don’t like it as I feel like I’m being examined but it never changes. Another issue is I feel he takes advantage when I’ve had a lot to drink, on one occasion I had been spiked and luckily I was with my sister in law who managed to get me home she said I couldn’t walk or talk (I totally blacked out) but remember flashes when I got home. I was being sick in the bath...obviously I didn’t know what I was doing. But then he came in and must have initiated sex because I remember little bits, including anal which he knows I hate. I woke up in the morning with the sick still in the bath feeling like I was literally dying! Another time when I had a sickness bug but because he hadn’t had it for about a week at this point he guilt tripped me into it even though I was throwing up all day. Recently he had been out with his friends and came home really drunk, we had words in bed about things and then I pretended to go to sleep because I couldn’t face arguing at stupid o clock in the morning. He thought I was asleep and he tried to put his hands down my pants and put his fingers in me,,I pushed him away. There’s probably more but I just think is it me being horrible or is this normal. What would you do in my shoes. TIA x
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is his behaviour towards sex normal
Ocean23 · 06/08/2020 18:32
To clarify the ‘looking’ would be enough to push me to leave. None of what you’ve posted is normal 
Absolutely not normal, you know it. Have you had many other boyfriends in the past? I know a lot of men are awful about sex, but I like to think you might've had one/some who you can look back at and think whatever the reason you split up, they weren't disgusting and violating.
The crouching down and staring up at your vagina sounds particularly repulsive. That and the actual rapes and sexual assaults of course.
You don't have to live this way- you can be single and you'd be free of all this pressure, degrading treatment and violation. No having to have sex when you don't want it. Or you can find a decent guy if that's what you want- bin any if they show any signs of disgustingness.
Please find a way to leave ASAP
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.