I was with my ex for 6 years. We took each others virginity. Towards the end of the relationship, my ex started to talk to other girls on social media, which I found out about and he continuously lied to me about it even though I saw the messages. I forgave him and stayed because I love him. One of the girls was from his workplace. I was devastated, but I stayed. He also stopped bringing me around his friends for the last 2 and half years of the relationship. I would ask to come and he would get angry and be really rude to me and shout at me. He would also lie and say girls weren't going to the outings, which I found out wasn't true.
I broke up with him at the end of last year but we were still meeting up and he really wanted me back. However, i found out that he chatted up a girl when he was with his friends less than 2 weeks after we broke up (whilst he was still begging for me to take him back). He lied about this too.
3 months after breaking up, I took him back. After 3 months of being together again, I found out he was on Tinder talking to another girl. I saw all of the messages and I was heartbroken and devastated. I ended things and blocked him on everything. So he began to email me. I ignored his emails for 2 months and then responded and said I'm not interested. He continued to email me so I blocked his emails. This week he turned up at my house and said how sorry he is and how much he loves me and misses me. I told him I love him too and miss him.
The only thing is I slept with someone once after being broken up with him for almost 3 months. I wasn't planning to get back him at all as he completely broke my heart twice.
The sex didn't mean anything. The guy actually used me as he acted interested until we had sex then became distant. This was really difficult for me as I felt disgusting and used as I only ever sex with my ex and I felt used, rejected and dirty. I still feel this way about it now. I even had an anxiety attack the day after realising that I was used.
My ex asked if I'd been with anyone else whilst we weren't together and I denied it as it will destroy him and probably ruin our chances of a happy relationship.
How do I stop feeling guilty without telling him about it?
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Relationships
I slept with someone whilst we were broken up. Now I'm thinking of getting back with my ex. How to stop feeling guilty?
21 replies
Lovely737 · 06/08/2020 09:13
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