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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

You patronising fucking bitch....

255 replies

hopingtobedally · 04/08/2020 23:21

If a male who was meant to love you came out with this ....what would you think?

OP posts:

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pandafunfactory · 04/08/2020 23:22

That the relationship was over but at least I'd really got under the bastard's skin.

2155User · 04/08/2020 23:22

I wouldn’t even allow my brain space or time to think. He would be gone.

SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 04/08/2020 23:23

I would think 'bye'.

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 04/08/2020 23:23

Is the woman being a patronising bitch?

Of a woman called a man a fucking dickhead when he was being a dickhead is that okay?

Context is key and knee jerk reactions from people that weren't there are unlikely.to help clarify anything.

HollowTalk · 04/08/2020 23:23

I'd think:

this is what he actually believes (no matter how much he protests he didn't mean it later, when he's dumped)
he's believed this for a long time
he hates women.

I'd dump him as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Smidge001 · 04/08/2020 23:25

I would think the woman had just been extremely patronising to him, and that it must be a regular occurance for him to get so sweary about it.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 04/08/2020 23:25

I'd be done.

No one who spoke to me like that would be in my life any longer.

unstableunicorn · 04/08/2020 23:28

That he's a wanker who can go fuck himself. But I agree with Monkey that it depends on context

sadpapercourtesan · 04/08/2020 23:28

My DH might, conceivably, lose his rag and raise his voice at me if we had a really serious argument - both under huge pressure, such as when we were dealing with a dangerously ill child and a dying parent at the same time and then ran out of money, for example. I might do the same. I cant remember the last time it actually happened, but we're not robots and either of us could snap, I guess.

I do know that he would never, ever, call me a fucking bitch, though. Because he doesn't have a core-deep hatred and contempt, for me or for women generally.

Spanglebangle · 04/08/2020 23:28

Depends why he said it, situation, tone, context. Much more info needed.

Finfintytint · 04/08/2020 23:29

I would think that the man ( if it is a man) uses derogatory terms to describe a woman firstly and that his privilege is being challenged and is making him very uncomfortable. Good.

Fatted · 04/08/2020 23:31

I'd need to know the rest of the context.

I'm guessing he didn't just randomly say it when he got home from work this evening, did he?

Stella8686 · 04/08/2020 23:35

You hurt his ego
He has responded in an ugly way
Depends if you overstepped the mark or if he's always secretly viewed you this way

VacMan · 04/08/2020 23:39

@pandafunfactory

That the relationship was over but at least I'd really got under the bastard's skin.

Agree. At this stage to be called that, there wouldn't be much love lost.

june2007 · 04/08/2020 23:42

Why did he say that? It,s not a nice thing to say but what was the reason. Can,t jusdge by one comment. If your not happy leave.

brastrapbroken · 04/08/2020 23:44

Context?

Moonshinemisses · 04/08/2020 23:49

Context is everything. I have said ' Don't patronise me you fucking dickhead' to my husband when he has been patronising me. That's within a good, respectful happy marriage. We both apologise at some point & move on. How is your relationship generally op?.

PurpleDaisies · 04/08/2020 23:51

Tone and context is important, but it’s hard to see how that’s excusable.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/08/2020 23:52

Well some context is needed. No it isn't ok to say that BUT what was said before hand?

mellowww · 04/08/2020 23:53

I would immediately hate him and want him gone.

What?!!! Omg. Never ever have sex with him again. No option.

mellowww · 04/08/2020 23:54

But yes why did he say that??

hopingtobedally · 05/08/2020 00:05

When challenging a complete contradiction he had just said for instance (not what was actually said) 'I want to be with you forever' and in the next breathe 'this will never work'
My reply 'oh here we go again'

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PurpleDaisies · 05/08/2020 00:06

It sounds like your relationship isn’t in a great place, regardless of whether this was an acceptable comment. I’m guessing it isn’t a one off?

agonyauntie2020 · 05/08/2020 00:06

Context is everything. I can be a patronizing bitch myself sometimes, I know it, DH knows it. But he can be a useless bastard. We all have different levels of comfort in what we give/take?

Stella8686 · 05/08/2020 00:08

the ego!

So you had proof he was wrong and he didn't like that...

Sounds like he loves the idea of a perfect you but not the real you or the you who can challenge him

He wants to be held on a pedestal

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