Would you date a teacher?

(140 Posts)
Claire926 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:33:03

I have met a nice man who is starting a PGCE in September. I do not have a problem with teachers as I know some people believe they have a reputation. What my concerns are if I was to get in a relationship with him would he have time for a relationship? He would be working full time at school plus doing assignments. Also, would he always be working long hours with planning and marking etc after he graduates? I have heard it a stressful job and don't know if I could be with someone who has no time or the job ends up affecting their physical and mental health.

OP’s posts: |
Ginfizplease Tue 04-Aug-20 18:34:52

Erm, what kind of reputation do teachers supposedly have?

Amijustagrump Tue 04-Aug-20 18:35:11

I'm a teacher and DP is a paramedic so both busy and stressful jobs. We have time. It is hard and the PGCE will be tricky with assignments but they will get into a routine and have the lovely holidays to relax. Just be prepared for sudden last minute meetings/parents evenings/ofsted prep!

Musicalmistress Tue 04-Aug-20 18:37:24

Sorry this made me chortle - we're both teachers!
If he wants the relationship to work, he'll make time in just the same way as people in other busy jobs do.

Ginfizplease Tue 04-Aug-20 18:38:29

It sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who works hard?

In answer to your questions, yes, he will have marking and will work late into the evenings, especially in the PGCE year and the first few years of teaching. This will also continue as long as he is a teacher to be honest but it doesn't get slightly more manageable once you get to grips with planning and have previous resources etc to hand. But, if you think it's all 9-3 and lots of holidays you'd be very much disillusioned.

I wouldn't let someone's career choice stop you from dating though. Would you not date a trainee policeman because he might do long shifts or nights and his mental health may suffer, as an example?

happytoday73 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:47:07

What reputation?🙄

If you want someone that just works office hours I can't see a teacher being for you.... Far too many hours in term time that spill over to weekends and evenings... Especially as a new teacher I'd imagine...

But on that theory there are other professions, self employed and companies where job requirements or commute means they are out of the house for 12 hours + a day regularly. And shift personnel loose weekends...
Holidays are obviously fixed.. Might like that as can have a decent summer break... Or not as expensive times of year...

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime Tue 04-Aug-20 18:48:12

I dated a teacher he was very ambitious and promoted to Assistant Head whilst we were together. He prioritised his work over us continuously so I ended it. He would reply to emails and calls from parents whilst we were out at dinner etc. I think he liked dating as he had someone to go to the cinema etc with more so than he actually wanted a serious relationship.

I'm a single parent, and teach alongside my degree. I always make time for Dd, we go away for weekends for sports she is competing in, sometimes I just have to take work with me.

A new colleague did her PGCE with us last year, married mum of 3 she still made time for her family.

If he wants to be with you hell make time, perhaps sometimes hell need to do some marking or planning but people with families already find a way to make time. Fridays he's likely to be shattered, Sundays it's likely he might need to do some work but it depends on his time management and priorities how much that takes up, don't get serious and just see how it goes.


Cuddling57 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:56:22

I don't think you can chose someone to love based on their occupation unless it's something like 'Torturer' so I guess that could be a teacher.

Cuddling57 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:56:43

Ha ha only joking grin

Bluepolkadots42 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:56:52

V keen to hear the reputation teachers have! PPs have covered it all tbh in terms of what it's like being in a relationship with a teacher.

LolaSmiles Tue 04-Aug-20 19:03:53

If you want to date someone and settle down with someone who works a 9-5 and that's it then you'll probably find that most teachers aren't for you. The reality is that most work beyond school hours and at some schools they work unreasonable hours.

DH and I worked because we were together when I retrained. Anecdotally, the career changers from my cohort are the ones who have been less willing to put up with shit in schools. Some of us have strong lines that preserve our private life, others already had children when they trained, and well over half have left teaching in mainstream schools as they could get better pay and a better work/life balance in other jobs. Some of us have stuck with it, but I know I've had moments where I've nearly left the profession because I love the students and love teaching, but there's too much crap in some schools.

I wouldn't rule him out for being a teacher but I would try to establish his attitude to training and his potential career before making any serious steps.

Lacey2019 Tue 04-Aug-20 19:16:09

I’m not sure what reputation us teachers have, but I’d hate to think someone wouldn’t date me because I’m a teacher.

Yes he’ll have assignments, but that’s a year and then his nqt year after that. I’d say you could do a lot worse! Secure job, salary increase etc.

I’m unsure of what you do for work?. I work in the evenings as a teacher but I love my job and earn a very good salary

HeadAndShouldersPerson Tue 04-Aug-20 19:17:43

I thought the only reputation they had was to take weeks and weeks and weeks off on holiday?

tootiredtothinkofanewname Tue 04-Aug-20 19:22:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fmlfmlfmlfm Tue 04-Aug-20 19:37:59

Can't go on cheap holidays abroad in June. Other than that I definitely would 🤣

Sunrise234 Tue 04-Aug-20 19:52:33

There’s a lot of jobs that take up time and energy more than others like teachers, doctors etc. It depends how much attention you need? If you need them to be at your beck and call all day then no a teacher is not for you.

Sunrise234 Tue 04-Aug-20 19:54:07

I don't think you can chose someone to love based on their occupation unless it's something like 'Torturer' so I guess that could be a teacher.

I’m sure lots of kids would agree! Haha

poorpaws Tue 04-Aug-20 20:08:52

I married a teacher, my ex, so NO I wouldn’t date a teacher

Mightymaniac1 Tue 04-Aug-20 20:25:29

This is quite a weird question... as a teacher I’m home by three pm most days and have weeks off on holiday a year. I have so much time to see my partner and can’t imagine anyone being concerned about someone’s job that early on?

uglyface Tue 04-Aug-20 20:33:00

@Mightymaniac1 Please tell me your secrets!

OP, it depends on how he organises his workload. I try to do marking/prep at school so I can collect our toddler from the ILs at a reasonable hour, say 5.30ish. I then do planning/resourcing/other jobs at home after toddler bedtime until about 10pm. BUT, I do this on the sofa so DP and I can chat throughout. I try not to work at all at weekends, unless it’s report season or similar. Holidays are lovely as I can then relax in the evenings if I can get enough done on the toddler’s nursery day.

Perfectly doable in a relationship, especially in the absence of offspring. Please be kind though; he won’t be putting work ahead of you if he works all evening, it’s just that he can’t get it done during the day as that’s when he’s teaching!

uglyface Tue 04-Aug-20 20:35:57

P.S. I am a very experienced teacher so can plan very efficiently now - it was different when I was just starting ouT, so he might need bearing with for a while.

Heyha Tue 04-Aug-20 20:36:08

How does your 1265 break down if you're home by 3pm, @Mightymaniac1 ? 🤔

year5teacher Tue 04-Aug-20 20:48:09

My boyfriend says it was fine during my PGCE. I mark 60-90 books a night which is ridiculous but I try and do it at work. Ultimately it’s a stressful, busy, demanding job... like millions of other jobs.

Things get quicker over time though as a PP said, planning used to take me ages but it’s quicker now. Also at the start of his PGCE he will get eased into it. If I’m honest, in my PGCE I had weekends off which everyone told me was impossible. You have to be careful not to let it take over your life as you can be forever looking online and in shops for resources.

I definitely wouldn’t recommend you don’t date him because he’s a teacher 😂

LolaSmiles Tue 04-Aug-20 22:04:40

as a teacher I’m home by three pm most days and have weeks off on holiday a year.

I'm towards the more efficient end of teachers and my teaching day of lessons hasn't ended by 3pm, let alone the directed time allocation.

snowone Tue 04-Aug-20 22:17:51

If you never want a cheap holiday again...he's the man for you.

On a serious note I am a teacher, I work full time and manage to run the house and look after 2 kids.

It's all about time management and prioritising but this takes time to master and is more difficult
In training and initial years.

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