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Bfs xbox behaviour

(29 Posts)
Somewheresun Tue 04-Aug-20 11:37:36

Just a little rant really..
When my bfs not at work he pretty much spends all his time on his xbox playing call of duty with his friends online. The xbox is in our bedroom and he'll play on it until late at night I have to repeatedly ask him to turn it off when I want to go to bed, he'll say one more game and it'll be on another hour.
What's really winding me up is his shouting and swearing at the game, I can be down stairs with my 10 year son and all i can hear is the swearing, son looks at me embarrassed when he hears swear words. I've had it out with my bf many of a times I don't like swear words used in the house and that he shouldn't be playing xbox if it makes him that angry.
Anybody else's partner get this angry at computer games?

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Tue 04-Aug-20 11:41:06

That’s outrageous and completely unacceptable. How can you possibly find him attractive?

No excuse for stopping you from sleeping. No excuse at all for swearing loudly in front of your child!

That would be a deal breaker for me. He’s behaving like a teenage brat. What positive does he add to your life?

pog100 Tue 04-Aug-20 11:42:22

My only comment would be, why are you living with such an immature idiot and particularly why are you letting him dominate your sleeping hours? You need to be much firmer and with the firmly held option that if he doesn't immediately change, you are splitting. Mean it!

Somewheresun Tue 04-Aug-20 11:51:48

He was lovely before we moved in together, true what they say that you don't know someone till you live with them.
I've had many a discussion with him about this and he's a apologetic but then still continues. I know I need to say that you either change or your out.

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Tue 04-Aug-20 11:55:52

You do OP. And if you give him an ultimatum you need to really mean it.

Is he your DS’s dad?

If you still want to date him you can do so while living apart. At least you’ll be able to get to sleep at night without some selfish arsehole disturbing you.

teabaseddiet Tue 04-Aug-20 12:03:21

OP my OH is a gamer and plays online with his friends. I have children a similar age to yours.

I don't mind him playing, but we have rules:
- playing after kids are in bed
- wearing headphones & keeping the shouting to a minimum
- playing until no later than 11pm
- not playing every night. I don't mind us both doing our own thing, but if he was on it every night we'd never spend any time together.

If he's playing in your bedroom he should be turning it off as soon as you want to go to bed. From what you describe he has no respect or consideration for you. I'd be tempted to tell him to take his console and leave.

Somewheresun Tue 04-Aug-20 12:13:45

He's not DS dad.
He wears headphone but still shouts. I like rules you have teabaseddiet of no later than 11pm and not every night. I'm gonna set some boundaries like that if he doesn't agree it'll be a deal breaker.

OP’s posts: |
JorisBonson Tue 04-Aug-20 12:31:24

Is he 15 years old??

Chesneyhawkes1 Tue 04-Aug-20 12:34:01

My DH does this. We don't have children in the house when he plays. When DSS is here, he doesn't go on it.

He plays in a spare room downstairs so doesn't affect me if I'm in bed. But if I'm in the lounge watching tv I can hear him swearing and shouting at the game.

He's broken many controllers throwing them. I think it's childish tbh and if something made me so angry, I wouldn't do it.

Somewheresun Tue 04-Aug-20 12:36:02


Is he 15 years old??

He's mid 30s. His friends that play xbox are all mid 30s and some still live at home with their parents......Wonder why

OP’s posts: |
Hidingtonothing Tue 04-Aug-20 12:39:57

You can do better than him OP flowers

Crystalspider Tue 04-Aug-20 12:45:35

It's immature, I dumped my bf mainly because he kept playing COD while he was with me, not even living together.
I have since got back with him but he hasn't played it yet again since.
I guess if living together though there has to be a balance, time to do your own thing and time together.

pinkmummy1 Tue 04-Aug-20 12:51:30

I have the same problem. My partner works all day then is on xbox most nights. I found a cut off point at 10 works best for us. He also get really angry and swears alot as well. I dont know why as hes not like that when not on the xbox.

EKGEMS Tue 04-Aug-20 13:34:50

It sounds like your Prince Charming is one of your son's friends judging by your description of him

Onemansoapopera Tue 04-Aug-20 13:37:56

What a turn off. First off get the Xbox put of your bedroom! Bedrooms are for rest and for sex! Your intimacy must be dead. Unplug it and get it gone out of the room!!

Brightyellow Tue 04-Aug-20 13:42:44

That sounds ridiculous. Not fair on you or your son. Just tell him it’s not working out and he needs to go.

MonkeyToesOfDoom Tue 04-Aug-20 13:43:09

Why are you tolerating a person that puts a hobby before you?

It wouldn't be any different if that hobby was something else, fishing or cycling etc.
If someone puts their hobby before their partner, they're not worth your time.

Give him a chance to sort it, if he doesn't, and continues to see you as lesser than his games, chuck the arse hole.

Shoxfordian Tue 04-Aug-20 13:51:01

Send him back to his Mum

Arrivederla Tue 04-Aug-20 14:02:52

OMG op. My teenagers used to do this! Why, why are you putting up with this from a man in his 30s? confused

Dollyrocket Tue 04-Aug-20 14:05:24

I would ask him to move out, this is your home and more importantly your sons childhood, this is the sort of thing your son will remember and learn about relationships from.

He sounds like a boring, immature knob with zero respect for you or your home.

Sorry @Somewheresun flowers

Bananalanacake Tue 04-Aug-20 16:44:12

If he's not your DC's dad you don't need to live with him, or do you have a mortgage together? anyway, can he move out and you see him for dates once or twice a week as he's clearly not ready to be a live in partner.

Aerial2020 Tue 04-Aug-20 17:11:56

How very unattractive. Yuk.

ArthurandJessie Tue 04-Aug-20 17:40:51

I wouldnt have such a bad example around my son tbh what are you teaching him? Get rid

afternoon22 Tue 04-Aug-20 17:41:43

End the relationship.

theprincessmittens Tue 04-Aug-20 17:43:33

This is why I've always point blank refused to have any game consoles in my house. And my older brother is a game designer!

I loathe computer games, and I loathe grown men who spend all their spare time playing them. Totally a sign of immaturity to me. My partner plays games, on his tablet, with the sound off when he is with me. There is also no shouting or swearing. He also turns it off when we go to bed, after learning that I was serious when I said I would throw it out the window if he didn't stop and let me sleep.

Controlling? Yes, happy to admit it. No one gets in the way of me sleeping.

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