Those of you who settled quickly, did you commuicate wanting this early on in dating? im drained!

(6 Posts)
fallentear Tue 04-Aug-20 08:21:42

I’m so sick of talking to so many people all the time...I just want to settle down.

If you did it quickly, tell me how? Feeling so fed up today.

OP’s posts: |
Starlight39 Tue 04-Aug-20 08:30:00

I think it’s just luck really of when you meet the right person. I think I settled with my 30th guy I met, around 2 years of dating but did have some short relationships in that time and gave some men too much of a chance.

In terms of communicating it, on a date (or in messages beforehand) we would often ask each other what we were looking for and I would say ideally a long term relationship. It also depends what app you’re using as most of them give you the chance to specify and see what they specify in terms of what you’re both looking for. Although I think some men like to say they are looking for a long term relationship then date you into just sex 🙄.

Menora Tue 04-Aug-20 08:30:36

Doing it quickly because you are fed up of dating is a terrible idea. You need to get to know someone properly before you settle down
There is no quick fix

vikingwife Tue 04-Aug-20 08:41:49

Is it possible you’re giving off the vibe that you’re willing to settle with whoever will settle down with you? As in, possibly giving off a bit of a desperation vibe?

fallentear Tue 04-Aug-20 08:46:58

Don’t think so viking I’m often not interested in following up a date and told I am difficult to read on dates...usually get a text asking to meet again.

So drained by it all but at 35 feel I have no time to waste

OP’s posts: |
Mumteedum Tue 04-Aug-20 09:17:16

If you read books on attachment theory, they recommend always communicating your needs clearly and early for exactly that reason. Attached (levine) even has an example of a woman who did this and got rid of all the commitment phobes quickly and met someone on her level who wanted the same. I get the logic. I think I agree.

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