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Yet another date that went nowhere.

(202 Posts)
UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 19:40:02

Aaargh. Had OLD #7,023 yesterday. I liked him. Of course he's not been in touch. He's not going to contact me, is he?

So fed up of this. I've been single forever. Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? Most people I know didn't even have to resort to OLD, and most of those who did seem to have got together with the first person they met.

I don't want to be alone forever. It sucks.

OP’s posts: |
Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 19:57:27

...its only been a day. I wouldn't expect someone to contact me for a few days after a date.

Eg: date on the saturday, text maybe Tues or wed ish to see how I am and maybe arrange another date then for the following weekend.

Did either of you suggest a second date or talk about things you both like in a way that might point towards there going to be a date doing these things? Eg: 'I really want to see such and such at the cinema', 'oh yeah, me too!'

I think I'd feel a bit smothered if I had just had a date with someone and the very next day they were contacting me again.

I guess it's different if you usually tslkevery day but...
One day without doesnt mean ge has lost interest.

How do you feel the dare went? Did he seem into you? Did it flow? Do you think you are both looking for the same things?

Gose Mon 03-Aug-20 20:13:46

He may contact you Una, don't give up hope yet. Keep busy! How do you feel the date went?

I do know how you feel though - it seems so easy for some people. If it makes you feel any better, I struggle to even get to the date stage!

OnyourOwn Mon 03-Aug-20 20:14:22

its only been a day. I wouldn't expect someone to contact me for a few days after a date I completely disagree! Sorry.

When a bloke is keen they message asap.

Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:26:57

Yeah, but they would tell you on the date they were keen on seeing you again, surely?

Maybe a 'hope you got home safe' message or something to round off the evening but then isn't it just general decency to give a person a few days after a date in order to to digest it?

I find those who don't give any such space are often love bombers. You can be keen on someone and still not have to be constantly in contact. Especially in early dating days.

If the date went well then there shouldnt be any insecurities about a few days without talking.

UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 20:32:22

Did either of you suggest a second date or talk about things you both like in a way that might point towards there going to be a date doing these things?

We had a short walk, stopped for a drink, then a much longer walk, them back to where he had parked at which point he suggested we had a coffee.

I thought he was being quite flirty and he said we'd speak/meet soon - but of course people say that without really meaning it...

The date lasted a bit under four hours and didn't drag - plenty of conversation and laughter. I guess that's why I'm disappointed, but I tend to agree with @OnyourOwn.

OP’s posts: |
Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:35:02

Well for a 4 hour date either he is really keen and will be in tough or...ge was dragging it out in the hope you would sleep with him and when you didnt....

TheStuffedPenguin Mon 03-Aug-20 20:35:51

OnyourOwn

*its only been a day. I wouldn't expect someone to contact me for a few days after a date* I completely disagree! Sorry.

When a bloke is keen they message asap.

and the woman as well ? send him a message if you like him What have you got to lose ?I always would send a lovely to meet you message and yay or nay . My grown up son used to do OLD and he said you can never win with women - Too soon and they don't like it and if you leave it too long it's an issue too !

Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:38:48

*in touch

UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 20:47:41

Bunnymumy

Well for a 4 hour date either he is really keen and will be in tough or...ge was dragging it out in the hope you would sleep with him and when you didnt....

Well he didn't try to kiss me and I'd already turned down his offer of a lift, so I don't think he was expecting we'd end up in bed.

OP’s posts: |
NaughtyLittleElf Mon 03-Aug-20 20:49:01

A message to say they had a nice time and hope you got home ok is pretty basic manners, generally the man sends the first message (old fashioned maybe but I'd expect it) nothing wrong with the woman texting but I agree if he was keen he'd have messaged as soon as he got home.

You've usually been messaging fairly regularly up to the first date so a sudden change in communications after isn't a good sign.

Ugzbugz Mon 03-Aug-20 20:51:45

I doubt he would have suggested coffee after if there wasnt some interest? Text him now, maybe hes shy and waiting for you, it iany only for the man to text first....

FirelighterGirl Mon 03-Aug-20 20:52:14

But you haven't contacted him either?

Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:52:17

But a 4 hour date though! Surely he wouldn't have drawn it out that long if he wasn't keen. Unless you said something nearer the end if it that put him off maybe?

UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 20:55:51

Ugzbugz

I doubt he would have suggested coffee after if there wasnt some interest? Text him now, maybe hes shy and waiting for you, it iany only for the man to text first....

iany?

He didn't seem remotely shy.

OP’s posts: |
UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 20:58:30

Bunnymumy

But a 4 hour date though! Surely he wouldn't have drawn it out that long if he wasn't keen. Unless you said something nearer the end if it that put him off maybe?

Who knows.

The coffee part was quite short and we mainly talked about cats and his forthcoming holiday.

I don't know - I thought we got on well enough for a second date, but it's par for the course.

OP’s posts: |
UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 20:59:03

FirelighterGirl

But you haven't contacted him either?

No.

OP’s posts: |
Bunnymumy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:59:14

Leave it tonight n maybe drop him a text during the day tomorrow if you haven't heard anything. Bull by the horns. What's the worst that could happen? That he still isnt interested and you're back at square one but at least you gave it your best shot.

HollysBush Mon 03-Aug-20 20:59:47

I don’t think he would have suggested the coffee if he wasn’t interested. Why not say “Had a lovely time, do you want to meet again?”
What have you got to loose?

Notcoolmum Mon 03-Aug-20 21:00:35

Join the dating thread on here @UnaCorda Think we are on number 192! It's helpful to know other people are experiencing issues and there is always support and advice from people who understand.

@Bunnymumy I would always expect, and have received, a message the day of or the day after a date. Nothing unusual about that at all.

Minikievs Mon 03-Aug-20 21:00:39

OnyourOwn

*its only been a day. I wouldn't expect someone to contact me for a few days after a date* I completely disagree! Sorry.

When a bloke is keen they message asap.


I agree with this

HollysBush Mon 03-Aug-20 21:02:31

So...he hasn’t contacted you and you haven’t contacted him... I’ve never done OLD but if I was a as guy I’d be worried about the woman thinking I was creepy if contacted her first.

Fishfingersandwichplease Mon 03-Aug-20 21:16:50

Can't you message him to say thanks for a lovely time? See what he says back.

UnaCorda Mon 03-Aug-20 21:26:43

Fishfingersandwichplease

Can't you message him to say thanks for a lovely time? See what he says back.

Well I could... But what would be the point? He's obviously not interested.

OP’s posts: |
MargotMoon Mon 03-Aug-20 21:32:21

Ah come on now, Una! You've no idea what he thought. Just message him and ask! No game playing, you want another date, why does he have to be the one to instigate it. If he can't cope with you asking him out he's a bellend anyway

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