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how much would it be split?

(16 Posts)
nomorebastard Mon 03-Aug-20 14:57:06

in short, 6 years of marriage ended. I have assets (family home for approx 325k and rental for 140k) on my sole name (bought after marriage with my money only without any contribution from my ex). my ex didn't have a job nor money from the start and still hasn't got any assets but he earns approx 44k a year before tax now. I have never worked here but used to have a rental income(my only income that could only cover the bills for my family home. obviously not enough to survive) and now the rental is empty and the bills are doubled without any income. We have a 6y old child. he moved out and is asking half of everything ( I think he is aiming for half of the family home) and it seems like no negotiable without going to the court but I cannot afford it as I don't have any cash savings left and no income at the moment.

what do mums think in my case? is he really entitled to have half of everything or half of the family home?

OP’s posts: |
hellsbellsmelons Mon 03-Aug-20 15:37:49

After 6 years and you having one property before marriage, I doubt he would get 50%.
But you need legal advice and fast.
Have a ring around family solicitors in your area and see if any offer a free half hour or reduced 1st appointment.
Why is your rental not rented?

Justa2015 Mon 03-Aug-20 17:29:51

I was married a similar amount of time for you, and I was told our assets before we were married were effectively our own to 'take back out of the pot' again and everything acquired during the marriage was to be split 50:50- however we had no young children at home and we both had full time jobs and were capable of supporting ourselves. Did you have the money that you used to buy your home and your rental property prior to your marriage? If so that would be useful paperwork to have to hand. Also, where/with whom is your 6 year old going to live? Your child having a home and security will be the priority for a judge in any divorce settlement. It sounds like your Ex might be playing hardball as he knows you can't really afford to go to court- from what I understand its a strategy that some less than scrupulous solicitors advise when they know their client is the main breadwinner; they think your fear of court costs will force you to settle for a deal which is worse than the one you would have got if you'd gone to court. Don't tell your Ex that you don't want to go to court if you can, if he thinks you're willing to do that he might rethink things. Of if he does know, let him think you might be changing your mind! In the end I had to go to court, but as soon as we were there my ExH knew the game was up and agreed to what I'd requested in the first place, so yes it was more expensive than it needed to be (roughly about £2000 more from what I remember) but it didn't turn into some horrendous legal battle drawn out over months, it was all done and dusted in a couple of hours that morning! A friend of mine's ExH behaved in exactly the same way, buckling as soon as they got to the court and were sat in front of the judge. Most solicitors will offer you a first appointment for free, get some local recommendations and meet a few until you find one you like the look of. They will give you an independent assessment of what's fair and you then can proceed accordingly.
This charity also offer free telephone legal advice for women regarding family law and divorce:
Remember, all assets in a marriage are taken into account, that includes things like any investments and pensions he may have; and if your 6yo is going to live primarily with you he will need to financially support your child.

nomorebastard Mon 03-Aug-20 20:41:18

the source of the money to buy houses(after marriage) was purely my money before marriage and I haven't gained any since marriage but spent a lot from my savings as I was a breadwinner for a couple of years. My son lives in our family home with me and he voluntarily moved out. My family will help me if I have to go to the Court but it is going to be my debt, won't it.

I had some problem with the last two tenants and one owes me over 1700 but I cannot take him to the court due to the ridiculous cost and they recked my rental house. since the house has been empty for about 1.5 months and then lockdown started so still empty. I am trying to get back but it's not easy. I am worried that he will want that house or at least he will force me to sell it by pushing me off the cliff so no point to work on it nor getting a new tenant. CMS isn't even covering the council tax because he updated with furlough scheme income and apparently it won't change until next year. Literally he is trying to make me stuck with no job, no money to survive with his own little child.

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AngusThermopyle Tue 04-Aug-20 07:24:37

Sorry, I can't help with legal info about the divorce assets situation but, you don't need to write off the rental debts and damage.
It doesn't cost loads of money to take your ex tenants to small claims court for a small one off fee.

Also, if they don't pay the county court claim after it's awarded you can then take it to 'high court' and send an enforcer to get to your money back. This again is a small fee of around £60-70 (i think) and the debtor pays all the costs.

nomorebastard Tue 04-Aug-20 08:08:59

Just wonder how much will be divided in finance? I know my family home won’t be affected but I might have to sell the rental to give him lump sum? if someone purposely married someone who has more money and divorce after couple of years and gets financially benefit from divorce is ridiculous. I have to raise my young child, I have no working experience, no family members near by to help day-to-day life. He has a good job and now has a girlfriend, having my son 3 times a week(while he is not working anyway). I do not think it’s fair that he claims half of my assets that I hard earned before the marriage even though I bought houses after the marriage(been forced to buy)

Do mums think 50/50 is fair?

OP’s posts: |
AteAllTheAfterEights Tue 04-Aug-20 08:39:59

If it was the other way round and all the assets were his most people would say ‘50:50’ is fair.

As you have to house your son then you may get 60:40 or similar. You really need to speak to a solicitor.

Are there any other savings/pensions to consider?

Sleepingboy Tue 04-Aug-20 09:06:19

In one post you say you have no working experience and in another you say you worked hard to buy your houses. Which is it?

LemonTT Tue 04-Aug-20 09:47:04


After 6 years and you having one property before marriage, I doubt he would get 50%.
But you need legal advice and fast.
Have a ring around family solicitors in your area and see if any offer a free half hour or reduced 1st appointment.
Why is your rental not rented?

A word of caution,

The length of the relationship, the time they lived together before the marriage, is pertinent. With a 6 year old child the relationship must be a bit longer than the marriage at least.

That there is a child also adds to the complexity and will impact on the split.

monkeymonkey2010 Tue 04-Aug-20 15:19:10


He probably only married you for your money....and you DON'T owe him 50/50!

ivfdreaming Tue 04-Aug-20 15:24:10

He will be entitled to something as you bought the home AFTER you got married according to your opening post.

I know he didn't work for a period of time but was that the whole time he lived there? Presumably if he's earning £44k per year now then he has contributed to the family financially since you also said you've never worked here and your rental income barely covered the family home cost - who was paying for all the other costs??

since you unlikely have any evidence that any money he gave you was say for food then he could claim it was towards the running cost of the family house and therefore legally that gives him some financial benefit - highly unlikely to be 50/50 though

Hidingtonothing Tue 04-Aug-20 15:35:39

You need to see a solicitor OP, there's no way round it and you would be foolish to try. Ring round a few and see what they can offer re: free initial consultation/payment plans before you write them off as an unnecessary expense. It will be worth it if they can save you having to give him money he's not entitled to.

HollowTalk Tue 04-Aug-20 15:40:10

It would definitely be worthwhile investing in an hour or two with a solicitor, OP. He sounds like a right greedy bastard.

If he has your child three nights a week then that will affect child maintenance, too.

Are you saying he only started to work properly once he knew he'd be leaving you?

nomorebastard Tue 04-Aug-20 18:35:50

Well, I am not british. I earned in my country and immigrated to the UK. I have no working experience in the UK and I am not young. As much I have tried to get a job, still couldn’t get one. If I have to split all I have with such UK law allows to do that, it could lead me to go on the street.

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Viviennemary Tue 04-Aug-20 18:42:15

You certainly need a solicitor to sort this one out. I can't see how he will be entitled to half your property when you now have no income. You need to get the best deal you can under the circumstances. I don't think you will be made to sell your family home. Maybe if you were to forgo any pension right claim on his pension you could avoid having to give him a large lump sum. But he will have some clai

nomorebastard Tue 04-Aug-20 18:56:36

He has been working since Dec last year with a very good position. He worked before here and there for 3 years. We got married very quick so the whole relationship is still 6 years bracket. I have been spending my money from the very beginning of the relationship as he had non, not even a penny. I paid everything, wedding, his food and his bills, holidays, everything. I gave him my credit card to spend whatever he wanted. whenever he moaned I bought because I couldn’t stand his moans and swears and hot-tempers when he doesn’t get what he wanted. It’s a long story and I want to end this asap and move on my life. but I am just thinking that it’s too unfair to be ripped by him while I am unemployed.

OP’s posts: |

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