(Not sure where to post) I am a single parent wanting to leave nursing - please help.

[CakesRus3]

Qualified a year. Absolutely hated all aspects of my training. Partly because I did it as a single parent with no support at all. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Anyway, I decided to find a position as I didn't want to waste the past few years of hard work. I also desperately need to earn money. I thought once I was in a position, it would feel better. 16 months later. I am still anxious, still feel unappreciated by my manager and have been left without support on so many occasions. I come home so unhappy. I'm lucky that I'm Mon-fri (can't do shifts as I don't have childcare). Weekends, I feel stressed because it's all go, only to start again on Monday morning. I know that this is the way for so many but it's taking its toll on my mental health and I really don't want my dc's seeing me this way. It's getting more difficult to hide. I also feel physically ill most of the time, not sure if it's related. I am just so scared to leave, as one day when dc's are older, I will need to earn a decent income. I'm a mental health nurse so a little different to general nurses able to change careers, and start something less clinical.
If I wasn't a single parent, I'd leave tomorrow. Anyone got any advice, would really appreciate it.

[DoingDiddlySquat]

Sorry to hear that the job is causing you so much anxiety, the training is tough but it's still a rewarding job. What sort of ward are you on? How old are the dc.
Do you think it might be an idea to take a few days off just to get your head together, you can speak to your gp. Do you still want to work in MH.
There are options for you in MH, you don't have to work on the wards if it's too much. Are you working in the NHS at the moment. There is
Clinic work, community, outreach, supported housing, nursing home.
Could you survive financially on bank work for a while until you decide what you want to do longterm.
Charities are always looking for RMNs to work in the community, also support workers if you want to give up your RMN and the money is just the same if not better with some employers.
You can report your post to MN and ask them to move it to the employment section, there is a section for health workers which might be useful for you.

[CakesRus3]

57DoingDiddlySquat thanks for your message. I'm in a clinic now, however it's not running due to the situation so doing alot of phone calls/home visits. It's NHS. My mate hasn't helped my anxieties (no support and spoken to in a patronising way) so I went to the lead nurse a few weeks ago, nothing has been done, just advised to interact with my team. I get on well with the team, it's management I can't relax with. It has been notified by other team members how I'm spoken to. I had to confide in a couple as I was making myself really ill. I think it's more than that, I just don't like the responsibility, the anxiety of making mistakes and not being able to ask for help. Working in MH is hard. I'm not sure I feel the benefits of the rewarding part.
I have next week off and I'm already thinking, I'm not going to want to go back.
I can't work on wards as I don't have childcare. I have been looking for other roles but I can't see anything at the moment.

[DoingDiddlySquat]

I can have a look for you. Whereabouts are you.

[user1471462428]

I recently left nursing so I’m not sure I can help you. It is an incredibly hard job to do as a single parent, you use a massive amount of emotional energy at work then are the sole focus of your children’s attention at home.
I have found leaving very beneficial as my mental health (and physical I had to have joints repaired) was destroyed. I was bullied and it’s my experience that it is often the managers in the Nhs leading this behaviour. Could you take a few weeks off?
Qualifying into a pandemic wasn’t the best start for you!