I'd not tell them of any plans or that he had text until he actually turns up to see them.
I would be asking him on the phone not to tell them when he is visiting in case he can't make it and you are left picking up the pieces when they are sad.
I'd not be encouraging anything.

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Louise91417 Fri 31-Jul-20 14:41:46

I would just stay out of it and let it run its own course. You shouldnt have to tell him to make an effort. Its hard to watch your children disappointed but you cant fix this situation. Sounds like he will just stop bothering altogether, which would probably be for the best..

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Theodoreb Fri 31-Jul-20 14:36:38

He saw them last on December the 17th and hasn't seen them since he phoned only once a month and I've only ever said he couldn't have the dc once and I had good reason he had canceled a visit over Christmas and was due to have them nye but I didn't want them let down so took them to Alton Towers for the weekend.

Problem is he is not consistent he doesn't phone often or text and every time he texts dc hearts are lifted then shattered again when he just fucks off.

Do I keep encouraging contact or stay out of it? Or do I start telling him he needs to put in more effort if he wants to see dc?

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