Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
What happens when you’re scared your husband isn’t happy?(4 Posts)
In some ways our relationship seems good, but for other reasons I can’t help feel that he’s not truly happy but is happy to just plod along the way we are.
I spend so much time worrying about this and I know I need to talk to him - but I’m scared about what he may say and what it may lead to.
We have two young children and I’m scared that if I talk to him about it, it is going to open some kind of Pandora’s Box and the impact could ruin everything in terms of the stability of our home.
I just don’t know what to do.
I'd stop taking responsibility for how other people are feeling. It isn't healthy.
And being scared implies that the relationship has toxic elements which you can address through counselling independently of your partner.
Additionally, your user name is interesting and offers an insight on how you view yourself.
Are your 'princes', your children? Is your partner your 'King'?
Are you subject to an overlord?
Lots to unravel there OP.
Are YOU happy?
If you spend all your life worrying about it your children will pick up on that anyway so while financially/practically things might be stable it won't be in other ways.
What doesn't feel right? Have you spoken to anyone?
I know what you mean.
I suffer terribly with constantly worrying about how the other person is thinking.
I realised my behaviour is off putting during these times as I'm always fussing. Obviously might not be the case for you!
I think first of all. Calm your head. Totally normal feelings. You at least think he's happy plodding on. Thsts good. You are right that you need to have the conversation.
Try to have an open one. Where you are ready to listen, as is he. But first make sure you're calm. Answer slowly and digest what you've heard. He's there. In fact probably not. Work? Family? Head? In which case its good you've had a good chat.
I suggest a bubble bath xx