I want to not care about this but it's really bothering me. I'm hoping getting it out here will help a bit.
Split with DH in Sept 2018 but divorce took ages didn't come through till Jan 2020. We have a dd together who is nearly 3. She struggles with her motor skills but is an utterly lovely child. I divorced him as he changed drastically when I was pregnant and even more so when dd was born. He was always a drinker but he started doing coke and mdma a lot. He was barely ever home and if he was he was recovering from whatever bender he'd been on. As well as this he was 'in love' with his close friends wife. He tried his damnedest to have an affair with her. His friends also sent me pics of him kissing another women in a bar.
He showed no interest in dd after the first two weeks. I tried so hard to get them to bond. I booked swimming lessons for them to do together (he missed half due to work). Would try and get him to feed her etc. He just didn't seem to want to do any of the work, he'd pose for pictures but that's it really. We even had a conversation once where he said she was important but he didn't want her to be the centre of his life. She was a bit "different" when she was little she couldn't sit till she was nearly 1 for example which made it hard to do things with her you'd normally do at that age.
He's had a new girlfriend since around June 2019. This didn't bother me in fact I quite liked her she seemed to make him less of a selfish arse. He announced the other day they've been trying since January for a baby and now she's pregnant with twins! I realise this is allowed, we did break up. I am just shocked he's having more children on purpose when he was barely interested in dd (he is more interested now she's older in a Disney dad kind of way). I feel really resentful he's getting a second family and he gets to have more kids. This is terrible to say but I resent they probably won't have development issues so he'll get to experience having "normal" children without all the medical appointments and worry we had with dd. I'm also worried about how we'll manage contact going forward and I worry she'll prefer to live with him and her siblings rather than just me. I moved to be near my family so he's a fair distance away.
I hate myself for this bothering me so much I don't know how to get past it. Tips / handhold / wise words all appreciated
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Relationships
Struggling with the fact my ex DH is having children with someone else already.
Joywillcomeagain · 30/07/2020 02:00
Jesus, what kind of Man tells his ex how long they’ve been trying for a baby.
OP it’s natural to be affected when your child has siblings who are not your children, iyswim, especially as when you had your children you wouldn’t have envisaged that one day he would be having them with someone else. But remember that not every relationship is what it looks on the outside. For starters trying for a baby when you’ve been with someone a matter of months very much seems like rushing into things, and now they’re going to have twins. 
that ain’t going to be a picnic... 
My eXH was an involved parent when DS was little, but even then it smarted a bit when he announced he and his DP were having a baby. But then we’d already decided to stop trying before we split, and we’d been trying for six years. he texted me to tell me the news, I am certain it was to rub it in, because he also told DS that we had tried for another baby and hadn’t been able to have one. 
But ultimately we all have our own lives. I have an almost grown-up DS now, and he will be sending his child off to uni when he’s in his 60’s. I know which I would rather have. .
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OP when you're feeling jealous (which is 100% normal), please re read this:
*
He was always a drinker but he started doing coke and mdma a lot. He was barely ever home and if he was he was recovering from whatever bender he'd been on. As well as this he was 'in love' with his close friends wife. He tried he damnedest to have an affair with her. His friends also sent me pics of him kissing another women in a bar. *
*
He showed no interest in dd after the first two weeks. *
He's not a completely different person. Don't look back with rose tinted specs. This is who he is. You don't want that again, remind yourself of that 
Thank you everyone it's actually really helpful to hear I'm not over reacting. I keep being really down on myself for being upset about it but I will keep reminding myself this is normal to be hurt and upset and it will pass.
I know it sounds weird but I am a bit worried for his new girlfriend. We sold our home after our divorce split the money. He's burned through his share already as he has only worked 2 months in the last 12 .
Now they're selling her flat to get somewhere bigger but without either of them having a job I worry he'll just burn through that money too. He might completely shit all over her life like he did mine but even worse.
Anyway thank you for the kind replies everyone they have really helped 
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