Close family friend - would you?

(35 Posts)
HandsomeMaid Wed 29-Jul-20 21:50:06

I’m separated after a long, lonely marriage. I’ve recently been spending more time with a close friend of the family (really close - he’s my brothers best friend, his dad is my godfather, my dad is his, our families spend Christmas together).

Anyway, it’s increasingly apparent that we both fancy the pants off each other but nothing has been said/ happened so far. I don’t want a relationship at all, if anything just a friends with benefits situation and from chatting to him about it (we’re both on Tinder and have been regaling each other with the horror of it all) I think he wants similar.

But I’ve never even thought about him romantically even though I’ve known him my entire life. Also it could make things really awkward as we’re always going to be in each other’s lives. But he really is attractive and lovely and I haven’t had a shag in 3 years. Would you?

OP’s posts: |
iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 29-Jul-20 21:58:49

There you go lol
Life is short, have some fun

Feralkidsatthecampsite Wed 29-Jul-20 22:01:44

Life is too short for 'what ifs'..

Dollyrocket Wed 29-Jul-20 22:07:05

Get thee to shagging!

JorisBonson Wed 29-Jul-20 22:07:15


My best friend has known her other half since she was 7, and their mums are each others godmothers.

One day something just clicked, and they're not happily married.

JorisBonson Wed 29-Jul-20 22:07:35

NOW happily married. Jesus. 😂

Dery Wed 29-Jul-20 22:08:49

Yes. Sounds ideal. Why not just enjoy each other? And it doesn't need to be awkward if you're mature about it.


billy1966 Wed 29-Jul-20 22:14:22


The key is, are ye on the same page?

Personally I would hesitate because I have alwsys believed in keeping things private.


when you have such history, you just really need to have a conversation.

A fling will only be a huge regret if the collateral damage is a massive PITA.

Have the conversation, get on the exact same page re expectations and once ye have that absolutely sorted ...then go for it if that feels right.

Uncomplicated sex is fantastic when it works...

When it works!!

HandsomeMaid Wed 29-Jul-20 22:35:42

Thank you. I think I need to be a grown up and have a proper chat with him before anything happens. I’m 99% he doesn’t want any kind of relationship either but it would be awkward if he did. I went on Tinder thinking I’d just find someone to have a quick shag with but it’s just awful. It would be a lot easier if it’s someone that I actually know I like and trust.

OP’s posts: |
HandsomeMaid Wed 29-Jul-20 22:37:58

One thing that is reassuring is how nice he’s always been about his ex’s. I’m agog at how many blokes I’ve been chatting to online who really, really hate their ex’s! I think that’s the problem - I want an uncomplicated shag but everyone I’ve spoken to just seems to be what I’d consider to be a bastard.

OP’s posts: |
billy1966 Wed 29-Jul-20 22:44:20

If you are both up for an adult, uncomplicated relationship, proof of that is being up for a very frank discussion.

If you can have the conversation...

...then there is a fair chance you can have the arrangement 👍

If wary.

Good luck OP👍

Simply2020 Wed 29-Jul-20 22:48:04

Go for it! I heard that the best person to date is your brother's best friends. You're in safe hands.

OxenoftheSun Wed 29-Jul-20 22:51:06

No, because he’d always be around afterwards, and you’ll know him your whole life, regardless of how things go. I’d want my FWB to be mine alone, not almost a member of my family.

HollowTalk Wed 29-Jul-20 22:55:42

When there are so many idiots around, why would you only want a FWB relationship with such a nice guy?

HandsomeMaid Wed 29-Jul-20 23:10:25

hollowtalk I just really don’t want a relationship. At the moment I can’t ever see myself wanting a relationship. I’m fairly confident I will never a want a relationship that would end up with me living with a partner of being dependent on anyone in anyway. I do still fancy a shag though.

OP’s posts: |
TheWindowDonkey Wed 29-Jul-20 23:20:56

Is he also a friend of your ex partner? Because if so that could be painful for him and may not be worth it for a fling.

HandsomeMaid Thu 30-Jul-20 08:08:07

No, not a friend of my ex anymore than the rest of my family is. My ex has moved back to the city where he works and will be coming to see the kids EOW so I (hopefully) won’t have to see him much.

OP’s posts: |
Sakurami Thu 30-Jul-20 09:59:46

I wouldn't if all you want is a shag. Maybe you end up with feelings and he doesn't or vice versa. You haven't been with anyone since the end of your marriage and you want some fun. I'd find some strangers for that and keep this man as a friend.

PinkMonkeyBird Thu 30-Jul-20 13:56:17

If they are very close as in close to you and the family, I wouldn't want to get involved with him just for a FWB situation. Things could get messy, unless you both are on the same page for that? If you are both single, looking for someone (why would you be on Tinder, otherwise?) and like each other then why not just start dating!?

I was single this time last year and was NOT interesting in getting into a relationship at all, determinedly so. Then I met my current partner, with the view to just have fun and date, but it has grown into a loving relationship with thoughts to the future. Never say never.

nolovelost Thu 30-Jul-20 16:58:45

I'd be very tempted but what if you fall out, people still do even in a fwb situation. That would make it very difficult as get together's!

Sounds like you're at the past caring stage though and too tempted?!

ChristmasFluff Thu 30-Jul-20 18:12:20

If you were considering a relationship, I'd maybe risk it.

But for a FWB? Nah, not worth the risk of something going wrong and things being really awkward in the future.

HandsomeMaid Thu 30-Jul-20 21:46:39

Well I shagged him so it’s a bit late for regrets now 😂. Totally worth it.

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DukeOfEarlGrey Thu 30-Jul-20 21:49:26

Ha! Came on to say a definite yes and just seen OP’s update - congrats OP! 😂

binkyblinky Thu 30-Jul-20 21:51:28

Hell yes!

TooFrickinHot Thu 30-Jul-20 21:51:51

Hahahahaha! Good on you OP! Hope it works out in everyone's favour.

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