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(27 Posts)
Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 10:54:07

Hello
A guy Ive been seeing for about 6 months (don't know if we are friends, casual ive no idea) anyway the last few weeks he has been cagey and off with me , that's ok we are not a couple.
Anyway I was suppose to go round his house yesterday Sunday, but I cancelled as he hadn't confirmed anything, and hadn't bothered to text me back( despite being online whatsapp he had ignored my messages)
I gave up and cancelled the evening!
He then said hes pissed of that I dropped him and deleted me of his fb? Why would he do this?
I didnt drop him I just didn't have any communication with him so didn't know what to do.
Anyway there been plenty of times he's cancelled on me at the last minute and I'm cool with it, no worries. As soon as I do it I annoyed him.
He said he doesnt hate me and just doesnt know what he wants.
He doesnt want a relationship with me and friends told me they have seen him on dating sites.
What do I do?
X

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Aquamarine1029 Mon 27-Jul-20 10:56:08

Block and move on. He sounds like hard work.

DippingToes Mon 27-Jul-20 10:57:15

By 6 months you should be officially in a relationship, so the fact you clearly don't know where you stand with this individual shows that you've done the right thing.

He's made no effort and is taking you for granted. Go one step further now and block him on everything - you're worth so much more than this!

thanks

Hiccupiscal Mon 27-Jul-20 10:57:38

You do.... nothing.
He doesnt want you. Youre not on his radar at all.
Block and move on. Why would you do anything other than this?

Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 11:19:12

Its really hard to block him out of my life as our children go to the school. I will always see him in the playground

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SoulofanAggron Mon 27-Jul-20 11:25:10

Its really hard to block him out of my life as our children go to the school. I will always see him in the playground

Didn't stop him deleting you off FB. Block him on everything- you'll feel better for it.

Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 11:58:08

I cried on the phone to him last night as I'm teary (pandemic) making me upset and depressed. He said hes down as well and needs some time on his own. We don't hate each other, he said he needs time to sort his head out.
I asked him if we could have a proper chat about where we are going. He still wants to see me and happy to chat tomorrow night.
I've cried alot the last 3 months everything getting to me.
X

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DippingToes Mon 27-Jul-20 12:33:35

You say you've cried a lot during the past 3 months. That's half your "relationship"! He doesn't care about you - hard to accept but it's true. Crying on the phone to him isn't going to change that, in fact it sounds like it will drive him further away.

In the nicest possible way, get some self respect and block him.

Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 12:43:08

Dippingtoes I didnt cry infront of him for the 3 months, only once that was last night.

We never had a relationship only ever phone calls, me doing all the chasing. We have slept together twice in 6 months, mainly due to lock down. I didnt leave my house for 11 weeks.
Hes happy to see me, but won't ever ask how my day is or if I'm ok. In 6 months he's only ever asked if I'm ok once.

Why would he delete me from his fb yet be ok for me to see him still..confused

I guess I'm nothing to him.

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DippingToes Mon 27-Jul-20 12:54:47

I'm really sorry he's done this to you. Sounds like he's treating you like a plaything because he knows you'll come running. Don't let him treat you like this!

LadyMuck111 Mon 27-Jul-20 12:57:32

He sounds like he wants everything on his terms. Move on from him you might find you're a little less teary.

Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 14:08:06

He also said hes cool and not upset by me dropping him, then why delete me on fb. Yet also says he's pissed of

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ConstanceSalinger Mon 27-Jul-20 14:13:58

You sound lonely and very down. Don't confuse that for romantic feelings for someone who clearly does not like you or want to be with you. Channel all those energies into building up positive energies around you, either friends or hobbies.

Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 14:17:46

Iam lonely especially now with the new life we are living.
hes also been on dating apps since January as my friends have seen him. I once deleted my accounts and whilst I did I saw him on there at least 3 sights.

Why would a man be on dating sites this long anyway
X

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Littlelamb40 Mon 27-Jul-20 14:19:12

His status always says looking to 'date 'or wants to meet new people.
I only know as my friends told me.

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ConstanceSalinger Mon 27-Jul-20 14:25:59

Why do you want to be with him?

Spend some time working on yourself, fgs don't be going back on dating sites if you're feeling this vulnerable.

katy1213 Mon 27-Jul-20 14:28:10

He doesn't sound any great loss. You will survive being deleted from Facebook as I'm assuming you are older than 12.
When you see him at school - which won't be until September - say, "Good morning,' and move on.
Don''t cry, beg, chase, because he's not worth it and you know this already, so degrading yourself will make you feel worse.
Don't reply to messages. Leave him wondering about you. There was a very good thread about this yesterday. Don't even block him. He does not exist.
Repeat. Do NOT reply to messages. He will undoubtedly crawl out of the woodwork when he's at a loose end. Ignore. He is not even a mosquito that's worth swatting. He is a non-person.
Cheer up!

DippingToes Mon 27-Jul-20 14:34:24

You've been given some very good advice here. In answer to your question about the dating sites, it's because he's NOT looking for a relationship, just hook ups.

He's no good for you. Spend some time working on yourself and meeting up with friends. Learn to love yourself again! The previous poster who said you come across as lonely was right. You sound sad, and someone like this will only make this worse.

HalloumiSalad Mon 27-Jul-20 14:43:41

If you look at things from his point of view, he has been able to drop you at the last minute and you're cool with it, he can keep you at arms length emotionally, never asking how you are or showing any interest in your well being and you still continue to engage with the paltry crumbs he throws you off his table. At worst he thinks you're a total doormat and pities your lack of self respect at best he thinks you are genuinely really laid back so can be nice to while away time just so long as you don't need him about in any way.
This relationship is so unbalanced it won't be helping your state of mind one iota.
Sorry to be blunt but it's right in front of you so I can't help but think maybe you need to hear it loud and clear cos you seem to be confusing what you want with what you've got.
I hate to see people trodden all over like this. The playground thing is irrelevant, people blank each other in playground up and down the land all the time.

HalloumiSalad Mon 27-Jul-20 14:45:23

Sorry should say "so can be nice to while away time with, just so long as you don't mess him about in any way.

DippingToes Tue 28-Jul-20 21:49:39

I hope you're OK, OP. I was thinking about you today. Better things are out there for you, I promise!

Palavah Tue 28-Jul-20 21:53:22

He's just not that into you. Move on and find someone you can be happy with.

Littlelamb40 Mon 03-Aug-20 15:38:13

Dippingtoes im ok thank you. I have had to move on from him and havny contacted him for a week.
I have no choice really as im getting nowhere with him, I did try. X

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DippingToes Mon 03-Aug-20 16:12:32

Well done for looking after you. You're worth it 😊

Littlelamb40 Mon 03-Aug-20 16:26:14

Thanks for the advice xx

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