I've been with my DH for 10 years and we have 2 small children together. We've always had a nice marriage, no abuse, good atmosphere at home. Our second baby is only 6 months old and is a terrible sleeper, I live on few broken hours a night and find it almost impossible to function. Luckily I have help during the day but that doesn't make it easier at night as I'm breastfeeding and my sleep is broken even if I manage to catnap in the morning or during the day.
My DH works 6 days a week and long hours. Despite this, he helps a lot with the children and even at nights with the baby, obviously he can't breastfeed but we still swap and he rocks him with dummy etc or takes over in the morning when the baby is up at 5.30am and then goes to work. He helps with whatever he can. So he is helpful in terms of his actions.
However, there's something I find a bit...upsetting. When I start telling him about my terrible headaches (related to no sleep), about how exhausted I am, how tired, how tearful, when I cry, tell him about how hard my day/night was, he doesn't show any sympathy. He just listens and doesn't say much. I know he thinks I moan a lot and maybe it annoys him (I'm sure of that). When I ask him why he acts this way, he says "I don't know what to say", "there's not much I can say that will help, let's just swap at night" etc. Usually I assume when a person (let alone your own wife) tells you she's suffering you could perhaps give a hug, offer to make a cup of tea, say that you understand how hard it is and that we'll make it through... He used to say all those things at first, and then he stopped... I find this indifference extremely hurtful. If I bring it up nothing really changes.
Oddly he hugs/kisses me generally without relation to my hardships right now. But it's just when I start telling him in detail there's no much response. I don't know who's right and who's wrong here. Any opinions, please? Thank you.
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Is this ok?
21 replies
bunny85 · 26/07/2020 19:51
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