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Could you see past this?

(39 Posts)
RossGellarFan Sun 26-Jul-20 18:18:47

You ended a relationship because you loved him but he didn't love you, he only liked you. You weren't really a priority. He was sad. You were heart broken. A year passes. He reappears, is in a much better place mentally (now fully healed post divorce) and says everything you ever wanted to hear, I want to commit let's do it properly etc. You ask and he admits he had a couple of flings during your time apart. Hurts, but it's not your business... but one of the women was someone you always felt jealous of / very threatened by and he knew this. Can you see past it?

OP’s posts: |
Haggisfish Sun 26-Jul-20 18:21:04

No I don’t think I could.

Chitlin Sun 26-Jul-20 18:22:00

No. He sounds like a player. He's not worth your tears. No man is.

AbsolutWitch Sun 26-Jul-20 18:24:21

Not sure tbh. I'd go with my gut. I'd probably give him a chance but make a concerted effort not commit myself until I was sure

category12 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:25:07

I wouldn't advise going for another go round with a guy who didn't feel the same way about you as you did about him. Recipe for more heartbreak.

DariaMorgendorffer Sun 26-Jul-20 18:25:57

No, I couldn't thanks

Bishybarnybee Sun 26-Jul-20 18:26:16

Surely it's his business what he does while you're apart?

You finding her threatening isn't really his problem while you're not in a relationship.

MrsSpenserGregson Sun 26-Jul-20 18:27:04

Has he actually told you he loves you this time?

ThirtyAndASmidgen Sun 26-Jul-20 18:29:06

No way! You deserve to be with someone who wanted you wholeheartedly the first time around.

donquixotedelamancha Sun 26-Jul-20 18:32:13

No. He sounds like a player.

She dumped him and he had two relationships in a year, hardly a player.

Finding it hard to commit to a serious relationship immediately after a divorce seems sensible to me.

Well done for having the self respect to know what you wanted the first time round OP. I don't see why him briefly seeing someone you dislike would put you off, clearly he likes you more.

Tinamou Sun 26-Jul-20 18:33:41

Yes, you were apart for a year so if I wanted to give it another try I wouldn't care what he did in that time.

Morgana7 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:36:20

No. It all sounds very messy

cuddlymunchkin Sun 26-Jul-20 18:36:21

It sounds like he had a good look round and realised he couldn't do better. Flattering, but I think although he couldn't do better - you can.

Pelleas Sun 26-Jul-20 18:38:13

I'd give it a go but I would be wary of investing too much in the relationship at the outset.

Whatsnewpussyhat Sun 26-Jul-20 18:38:22

Nah. Do not settle.

LatteLover12 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:39:38

No. I think he's saying all the right things just to reel you back in again and he'll take off again once he's got what he wanted from you.

Steer well clear OP!

LexMitior Sun 26-Jul-20 18:40:59

Nope. He’s literally gone around checking whether there is something better than you. He was a fool to tell you this, I must say.

Accept his invitation and accept you will be played again.

TwilightPeace Sun 26-Jul-20 18:42:16

You ended a relationship because you loved him but he didn't love you, he only liked you. You weren't really a priority.

Why put yourself through this again?
No, I wouldn’t go hear him.
Find someone who adores you.

RossGellarFan Sun 26-Jul-20 18:43:53

Yes I agree, it's a no. Thanks all

OP’s posts: |
MissHemsworth Sun 26-Jul-20 18:46:59

There might be a reason why you previously felt uneasy about one of the women he had a 'fling' with during your time apart. As a PP has said...go with your gut!

Regularsizedrudy Sun 26-Jul-20 18:50:11

No he just wants a a shag

Alwaysinpain Sun 26-Jul-20 18:56:23

donquixotedelamancha

*No. He sounds like a player.*

She dumped him and he had two relationships in a year, hardly a player.

Finding it hard to commit to a serious relationship immediately after a divorce seems sensible to me.

Well done for having the self respect to know what you wanted the first time round OP. I don't see why him briefly seeing someone you dislike would put you off, clearly he likes you more.


Just to add another viewpoint - I think it does sound like he's a player.

Two relationships in a year after being dumped for not being over his divorce. So despite not being over his divorce, he still managed a further two relationships...

Boireannachlaidir Sun 26-Jul-20 20:20:10

Nah. Too much drama and angst and that's just me from reading the thread. Plenty more out there, good luck!

Tiny2018 Sun 26-Jul-20 21:42:10

We're you perhaps threatened by this woman due to his behaviour/attitude to/about her op?
Regardless, no go from me.

Tiffbiff Sun 26-Jul-20 22:02:44

I disagree- why can’t he have changed his mind? It didn’t work out with this person who you were worried about and he wants to be with you- embrace it!

Definitely keep up a wall to start with, but actions speak louder than words- you should give the guy a chance to show you he missed you?

My now husband and I had a break, so did William and Kate! Something it just needs a fresh start-BUT you need to treat it as something completely different. If you can do that, absolutely give it a chance!

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