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Photos of ex's

(39 Posts)
Festivalgirl83 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:04:57

DP of 2.5 years moved in four months ago and we are in the process of buying our own place together. I've noticed on his laptop he has loads of albums, mainly of his daughter over the years which have lots of pics of his ex wife in. They split when she was one but all these photos between his DD being 1 and 5 which is when we met have lots of pics with the ex as well, I know they still had loads of days out and christmases together even after the split. Also he has an album of before they even had kids together at a concert.

I feel a bit uneasy about this, not sure why although I expect I will be told I'm insecure. I have no photos around or in my laptop of me and my exH I wanted to throw all my wedding pics away but my mum stopped me when she said my DD might want to see them one day.

I know people will keep photos that may have exes in, but seems odd to keep them on a laptop rather than stored in a loft like most people!

OP’s posts: |
40andginger Sun 26-Jul-20 18:07:13

Do most people not store photos on laptops /clouds?
And they are memories
U wild understand if they were intimate photos of her but that doesn't seem the case you can't erase someone's past life
I think you just need to deal with it really

willieversleep Sun 26-Jul-20 18:08:04

I think most people keep photos electronically now as most photos aren't printed. I also think it's lovely that they will be there for his child down the line. A nice example of co-parenting. Though I understand why you are less keen to keep the photos of your exh (I assume there must be a reason for this).

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander Sun 26-Jul-20 18:09:23

I don't have many 'physical' photos so how would I store them in a loft confused?

Home42 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:12:26

I’m well over my ex husband but he was a huge part of my life for 16 years. Photos of all the big events over the last 16 years of mine and my daughters life have my ex husband in them. I have photos up in the house that have him in them. I even have my wedding photo on display. It was a great day and my terminally ill mum looked lovely in the picture so I see no need to throw it away. Not sure if it is odd but it doesn’t feel odd to me.

user1493413286 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:12:40

My DH has photos of his ex on his laptop; i probably do in my iCloud somewhere as we don’t really have physical photos unless they’re framed. I’ve never really thought too much of it for either of us; those people were part of our lives and if I deleted all those photos I’d be deleting a big chunk of my life.

category12 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:21:22

Family pictures from that time are nothing to be worried about.

The loft thing is just a bit odd - these are digital pictures, so the place you keep them is a hard drive or cloud.

Just because you wanted to throw away your wedding pictures doesn't mean everyone else has to feel the same. I looked fantastic. And these pictures are from a time with his small daughter as well? Come on, really?

Do you have children yourself?

category12 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:22:25

I think it would be odder to go through old albums and remove all the ones of the ex.

slipperywhensparticus Sun 26-Jul-20 18:25:54

I've removed my ex from the photos around the home he is still on the Facebook photos but ones of him without the kids have been deleted 🤷‍♀️ ive not going to keep the ones of us together either

Festivalgirl83 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:26:24

Yes I have two DC myself aged 10 and 8. The photos are with his ex and their DD on days out etc years after splitting which struck me as odd, but again I dont have that relationship with my ex.

OP’s posts: |
SimonJT Sun 26-Jul-20 18:27:44

You think its odd for a child to have pictures taken with their parents and the parent having a copy.

category12 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:28:44

They're family shots. Did you get rid of pictures of your kids that have their father in them?

Unless you have current other reasons to think he's still interested in his ex, you're being really weird.

Festivalgirl83 Sun 26-Jul-20 18:38:55

Not weird at all to have pics with his child. I mean multiple pics of his ex with child on days out and holidays long after they've split.

OP’s posts: |
Lucindainthesky Sun 26-Jul-20 18:50:35

It would be far odder if he deleted pictures of his children just because their mother was in them

category12 Sun 26-Jul-20 19:24:37

Are you suspecting there was something romantic still going on between them when you started dating, or that you were the other woman?

If it was an amicable split, there's nothing hugely worrying in them having days out as a family, but if you think they were still together that's different.

If the child was small between 1 and 5, then most photos will have a parent in them. Would you prefer he photoshopped her out?

Glitteris Sun 26-Jul-20 19:37:45

I can't stand my exh or my exdp but I have pictures and albums of our time together because one they are memories and two for the dc's.
it's important for dc's to see you didn't always do like each other.

Plus I'm not getting rid of my history, it happen and when I'm old I can look back. That doesn't mean I miss them

RLEOM Sun 26-Jul-20 19:49:57

I have pictures between exes and I. If I stumble across them, I look at them fondly, but that's it. They're part of his past, I'd let it go, unless they're sexual.

GCHWho Sun 26-Jul-20 19:50:35

Absolute non issue.

backseatcookers Sun 26-Jul-20 20:28:01

They aren't in the loft because they're digital photos. So unless you'd prefer he bought a new laptop for the purposes of saving them, then put that in the loft, it's an odd thing to say!

So you've seen on his laptop that he has these folders and to know for example there is one of him and her at a concert etc... you've had a right good rummage through it haven't you?

mindutopia Sun 26-Jul-20 20:51:00

I have loads of photos of me with ex’s from before I met dh. I have no other children with anyone but dh (so no dc in these photos). But I did have a life back then! Been with dh for 12+ years. It seems odd to expect someone to erase all trace of life from before you met. Of course he will have photos. It’s a memory of his dc’s life and also his (which is still ongoing even after both have moved on). Nothing odd about that.

If it doesn’t sit right with you, then doesn’t sound like it’s the right relationship for you.

SaucyTrout2k Sun 26-Jul-20 21:05:57

Both DH and I have kept photos of our exes around. Either on the computer or on social media. They are memories, as long as they aren’t his ex in her lingerie I really can’t understand the problem. His child will love looking back at old photos of the family days out.

Voice0fReason Sun 26-Jul-20 21:06:07

They've split up. It's great that they are on good enough terms to be able to spend time together. It makes sense that there are photos of these memories. It makes no sense at all to be insecure about them.

Louise91417 Sun 26-Jul-20 21:10:51

I have pictures of my ex on my phone for 2 reasons...1: if im having a bad day i can print 1 off and throw darts at it 2: if my ds ever needs to put of face to absent dad i will have them to show himhmm

DianaT1969 Sun 26-Jul-20 22:11:15

If I understand it, he split with his wife when his daughter was less than a year old and entered into a relationship (soon after?) with you. That might make you feel insecure.

Pebblexox Sun 26-Jul-20 22:13:54

Those photos are memories of his dd. Surely you aren't really expecting him to erase those?
The ex is her mother, she may not have those photos so he can show his daughter.
I probably have photos of me kissing my ex on my laptop somewhere. Dh more than likely has photos of his ex on his iCloud too. I don't care, she's his past I'm his future.

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