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Can you really have an STI undetected for years ?

(23 Posts)
LilySunday55 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:02:23

Basically my partner claims he has never cheated. However there are a few moments where I feel I could dispute this but never had clear evidence. I went to the doctor's with a problem down below and turned out to have contracted an STI. My partner claims he has never cheated but I just can't see how I could have had or he could have had an STI for 5 years and two pregnancies and it never be detected?

What's your thoughts?

OP’s posts: |
Glitteris Sat 25-Jul-20 20:06:13

You know the truth.

Every pregnancy they test you for yours and the lo safety

ShellsAndSunrises Sat 25-Jul-20 20:08:28

What is the STI? That’s relevant. Some are tested for in pregnancy, some are not... some can lay dormant.

I’d be surprised by five years but it might be technically possible.

LilySunday55 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:08:34

@Glitteris thank you.

I forgot to ask the nurse if it was routine to be checked while pregnant as I also thought this but wasn't 100% sure. Also I had a UTI about 6 months ago and the antibiotics for that surely would have cleared up an STI along with it.

I just wanted to be sure before giving all the details to my partner.

What a horrible feeling this is.

OP’s posts: |
glitterfarts Sat 25-Jul-20 20:08:45

Which STI? I very much doubt it. They do screen for some STI's in pregnancy, so i'd just tell him you were tested in pregnancy and didn't have it then.

Call his bluff.

In this situation, I'd assume he's cheated.

jammyjoey Sat 25-Jul-20 20:09:15

Depends on the STI, 'apparently' there is one that can lie dormant for years but I can't remember which one blush

sarahc336 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:10:43

What sti is it as really the only ones checked for in pregnancy are the blood bourne ones hiv etc so chlamydia etc isn't routinely checked for. I think most stis would have given you some signs and symptoms though so you'd probably have found out that way xx

mindutopia Sat 25-Jul-20 20:28:32

Which STI? I work in sexual health. Yes, it’s totally possible to have an STI for years and not know it, especially for men. As you talk about antibiotics, I assume you mean chlamydia or gonorrhoea. Yes, technically both can fester for years without symptoms, but you are typically tested in pregnancy. I know I was tested when pregnant with my first which was in 2012. I don’t actually know if it’s still routine. They didn’t test me second time around but I don’t know if that’s simply because I was tested before and had only had the same partner. I expect you would have been tested but you can pull your maternity notes which will have them in them. I wouldn’t assume random antibiotics would clear up an infection though as you usually need quite specific ones.

PumpkinP Sat 25-Jul-20 20:35:14

Depends on the STI, 'apparently' there is one that can lie dormant for years but I can't remember which one blush

Herpes I believe?
Are you tested for stds in pregnancy? I wasn’t aware of that

LilySunday55 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:48:56

Chlamydia yes. I'm going to speak to the nurse over the phone on Monday if they are able to and ask a few questions.

The antibiotics I had 6 months ago for a UTI I presumed would have cleared it as they were quite strong but I'm unsure how they work I will speak to the nurse as I want to have all information Infront of him to confront him because he is very argumentative and set when his opinion is coming through.

Also I presume even if the previous antibiotics did clear it then obviously continuing to have sex with my partner while he had it would mean that I would be reinfected anyway.

Our second is only 8 months old, I know a person can be asymptomatic to some but I just am skeptical how.

Thanks for the replies ladies

OP’s posts: |
inlectorecumbit Sat 25-Jul-20 20:54:51

Antibiotics given for a UTI would not clear up a chlamydia infection.

DisneyPrincess37 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:58:09

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if it was possible for the antibiotics to clear it up, if your partner didn't have it cleared up from him, it would have been passed back to you

Ell19 Sat 25-Jul-20 20:58:57

You are tested for chlamydia in pregnancy routinely as another poster said.

You know the answer OP.

molliemay Sat 25-Jul-20 21:02:30

Herpes can- in fact most people with genital herpes don’t even realise and it is not screened for during STD checks. So contracting herpes from a long term partner does not necessarily mean cheating at all. So if it’s that then he could be telling the truth.

I believe most other STDs are screened for though?

Hopoindown31 Sat 25-Jul-20 21:05:49

Chlamydia can often remain symptomless in men. That doesn't mean you are wrong about him cheating, but it does mean that a positive Chlamydia screen is not the smoking gun.

molliemay Sat 25-Jul-20 21:06:41

Sorry I’ve just seen your reply.
I don’t think chlamydia is routinely tested for during pregnancy. If I recall correctly I had bloods taken to test for HIV, syphillis and hepatitis but nothing else. However, I don’t know how likely it is to have chlamydia for years without knowing.

PlanDeRaccordement Sat 25-Jul-20 21:06:45

The longest Chlamydia has been recorded as lying dormant for us 18yrs so 5yrs is entirely possible. Pregnancy suppresses the immune system and that is one thing that causes it to emerge from dormancy.

You may even have caught from a prior partner and then given it to your DH when it emerged due to you being pregnant. There isn’t a way to know who caught it first since it can lie dormant for so long who caught it first.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Sat 25-Jul-20 21:11:40

They don't routinely check for chlamydia in pregnancy in my local health board, so it is possible you've had it for that long.

RB68 Sat 25-Jul-20 21:24:29

whatever he needs to get tested and treated as well. At least its treatable and not a permanent thing unlike say Herpes.

sarahc336 Sun 26-Jul-20 22:57:54

I'm in my second pregnancy now and never been tested for sti apart from the ones on a blood test, hiv etc, it's not therefore routine xx

OneLastGo Sun 26-Jul-20 23:05:07

I haven't had an STI test in pregnancy, or at least no one's told me that I remember. When does it get done?

Hungrypuffin Sun 26-Jul-20 23:08:02

I was definitely not tested for chlamydia in any of my pregnancies from 2009 - 2013.

PumpkinP Mon 27-Jul-20 00:32:09

I’ve had 4 pregnancies and was never tested for stds, so I’m glad it’s not just me as I was confused by those comments! The only ones I know that they check for is ones they can check through blood tests

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