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Did you find your happy ending after 35/36?

(32 Posts)
TreacleTuesday Sat 25-Jul-20 13:02:07

Just that really. I’ve not given up on dating but I can’t see myself meeting anyone I want to build a future with, despite it being something I have wanted in my life for a long time.

I’m already years behind all my friends and colleagues where families are concerned and I’ve mostly come to terms with that, though it does feel shit sometimes. I also feel I’ve been quite battered by life by now... not so happy go lucky as I was and do feel older. I get dates etc but I don’t want endless nights out these days. I really just want to settle down .

Wondering if anyone felt the same and things did end up changing.

OP’s posts: |
sc93 Sat 25-Jul-20 13:16:37

I'm 26 and my life is just beginning for me and my partner - who is 51
Life is what you make it and age is just a number
Grab what you want and make it yours enjoy life to it's fullest

baileys6904 Sat 25-Jul-20 13:23:32

Yes, I was utterly miserable after some horrendously abusive relationships, childhood and life in general. Met my partner at 37 ish I think, and we are now one of those sickening couples lol. Haven't been as happy in my life and its nearly 10 years later

sc93 Sat 25-Jul-20 13:38:50

There are some horrible people out there
I've been there myself
I am so grateful to have met my fiancé
I'm a great believer in self love but it's an ongoing process
Stay content and cherish the life you have now and everything will fall into place when the time is right (children etc..)
Sending love 💕

Honeyroar Sat 25-Jul-20 13:44:11

Yes. I met my husband at 36, after a track record of disaster and when I’d just decided did it, I’m staying single! Still extremely happy with him now at 51.

goatley Sat 25-Jul-20 13:48:24


Met DH when I was 38. Still happy 15 years later.

Joistlooking Sat 25-Jul-20 13:55:17

Yes absolutely flowers

LuluBellaBlue Sat 25-Jul-20 13:56:35

I’ve just turned 40 and very happy! Dating a new person since earlier this year but going incredibly well and even before then, wasn’t looking or dating and was very content.
Good luck OP, all I can suggest is plough everything you can into yourself and your life!

captainpantbeard Sat 25-Jul-20 13:58:15

I did meet my husband at 35 (now 47)
I’d been single a long time. I’m happy with my own company but it was really really hard at times.
I hated the thought of dating websites but had eventually decided to try Guardian Soulmates and had signed up the week before I met DH.
We met at a do through f of f and got together straightaway. Married 10 years with a child now. Don’t give up hope.

I felt like I would never have children because I would never find anyone I wanted to have a family with and have time to build my relationship with them and then have children. As it happened it all fell into place and we decided to try for a baby after a year. If we’d met younger we would probably have left it longer but it’s all worked out anyway. Good luck!

BurtsBeesKnees Sat 25-Jul-20 14:04:54

Yes I did. I met my, now, dh at 43 and I've never been so happy in a relationship

AmandaHugenkiss Sat 25-Jul-20 14:14:24

Met my partner at 36 and still ridiculously happy 4 years later. Genuinely, I have never been as happy in my life as I am with him. Couldn’t ever imagine feeling like this about someone.

Spent my 20s in an emotionally and occasionally physically abusive relationship, and my early 30s shifting between dating and periods of being single (found I needed breaks between dating, as it’s emotionally exhausting if you do it for several months at a time).

sooveritalready Sat 25-Jul-20 14:19:31

Yes, met my now DH at 35, moved in at 37, married at 39, baby at 40.

We needed to go at that pace but am too old for anymore children, that's my only wish for my life to have been a bit different

SevernJuly Sat 25-Jul-20 14:39:07

Yep, met my husband at 35 married 18 months later and now panning our proper wedding next year (depending on lock down situation)
Planning a family after that

Weetabixandcrumpets Sat 25-Jul-20 14:43:52

My great aunt met the love of her life when she was in her 60s and got married for the first time. They had 25 very happy years together.(although no kids!!!)

LilMissRe Sat 25-Jul-20 17:41:32

This is so encouraging! I'm nearly 37 and am in a similar situation as you OP.

Serenity45 Sat 25-Jul-20 17:58:10

I'd been single for nearly 2 years (bar one twat I went out with for a few weeks) when I met DH aged almost 37. Had a couple of abusive/unhealthy relationships mid 20s to early 30s but as I always had great friends and family, own home and a good job I just didn't recognise them as such.

With DH almost a decade now and we have such a lovely calm fun life together. I definitely appreciate his kindness and loyalty a million times more than my immature younger self would have

BubblyBarbara Sat 25-Jul-20 18:20:32

It is totally fine and you can find someone if you want. If it were impossible then people who got divorced at 40 or 50 would be single for life!! You just need to be realistic, you aren’t going to be making love at your age like if you were in your early 20s

Treacletoots Sat 25-Jul-20 18:39:55

Yep! Met DH when I was 35 and had just finally accepted that I was very happy in my own skin, being single.

You need to take a break. You need to spend time on you instead of feeling you're not enough as you are. One of the things that DH liked about me was my strong sense of independence which i wouldn't have had if I hadn't spent time on myself.

You absolutely can get your happy every after but first, it has to start with you. When you love yourself, others will follow. And NEVER SETTLE.

Treacletoots Sat 25-Jul-20 18:42:30

@bubblybarbara speak for yourself - 35 is still young enough to be swinging from the chandeliers!

Obviously one young DC later, sleep is my first priority but in the early days DH was like a teenage sex pest (in a good way) despite being 33 grin

MitziK Sat 25-Jul-20 18:48:28

Met DP at 39. Got together when I was 41. It's the happiest I've ever been.

Puffalicious Sat 25-Jul-20 18:49:47

Definitely. Married and divorced (amicably) with 2 small children. Wasn't looking for anything, but age 38 I met my OH and it was like the oft quoted thunderbolt. It blew us both off of our feet. I gave birth to our son 18 months later( now 8) at age 40. 10 years in and I still feel so lucky.

As my wee mam always said ' What's for ye won't go by ye'.

Puffalicious Sat 25-Jul-20 18:50:42

Oh and like treacletoots best sex of my life.

enterparentone Sat 25-Jul-20 18:55:07

How are those of you meeting someone 40+ doing it? Lovely male friend desperate to meet someone but works in a male dominated industry and hasn't had good experiences with online dating. Every hobby he's taken up is full of students/younger people. Everyone his age (41) seems to be married off! He's worried his chances of having a family are drifting away...

blackbirdcottage Sat 25-Jul-20 18:56:50

Yes and no.

Yes, I’m expecting a baby with someone. I care about him and he’s a good man. But he doesn’t make my heart race or any of the other cliches.

AliasGrape Sat 25-Jul-20 18:58:12

Yes, met DH at 35, nearly 36. Incredibly easy and straightforward to be with him from the outset, I think we tend to judge based on previous relationships/ dramas and think you’ll need ages of dating and buggering about before you can ‘settle down’ with someone but I think when you’re older it can move quicker. DH and I were moved in together and ttc quite quickly really because we both knew what we wanted and everything fell into place really easily. Unfortunately the ttc took a bit longer and a bit of help but we now have a baby due next week and got married 6 months ago at 40 (me) and 42 (him).

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