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Shall we just call it quits?

(4 Posts)
Loubylou03 Sun 19-Jul-20 19:27:44

Ok, this might be long.

I've been with my boyfriend 4 years this year. We have a 16 month old beautiful little boy together.

The day our son turned 5 months he cheated on me with someone he worked with. I found out a few days later by finding texts between them. Anyway, stupid old me decided to stay with him. Fast forward to now, we haven't been arguing much but we do every now and again.

So basically we had an argument Saturday night, and when we do argue he will literally walk away from the conversation, says all sorts of nasty things then ignores me for days. I try and talk to him about it to try and resolve it but he doesn't want to know.

So the past couple of times that we've argued he's said things like 'I'm on the edge of walking away' 'if you argue with me one more time I'm leaving you' 'I literally cannot stand you anymore' just shit like that.
So yesterday's argument has gone into today as well, so I tried to talk to him about it and he's said he doesn't know what he wants anymore. So I've said well you either want this relationship or you don't but I won't wait around for him to decided if he wants to be with me or he doesn't.

I just don't understand, apart from this stupid little argument we have been fine! It was only 2 days ago we was talking and he always says I tell the most pointless stories, so I was telling him one of my stories and he looked at me, kissed me and said never ever change. To now he doesn't know what he wants 🤔!!!!

I don't know what to do, I do love him but things have changed since he's cheated. I've always been the lovey type of person, I'd always cuddle and kiss him and be all over him but since he cheated I haven't as I do find it difficult to be so close to him as I'm scared it will happen again.
He's noticed this and brings it up a fair bit. I've told him I find it difficult and he says he understands but then throws it back in my face when we are arguing!

My head a mess, I just don't know what to do!

OP’s posts: |
MiffedMuch78 Sun 19-Jul-20 19:31:40

Ignoring people after an argument is not only childish but it's abusive! It's like a form of punishment to basically keep you in your place.

Also, he's deflecting. He made mistakes but expects you to get over it on his timescales, no understanding or empathy.

Whether you end it is up to you, but I'd be questioning his behaviour

DarklyDreamingDexter Sun 19-Jul-20 20:27:37

In answer to your question, yes, I’d call it quits. He cheated, he ignores you for days, tries to control you, keeps threatening to leave. Why should you wait around for him to decide what he wants? Tell him if he wants to leave, you’ll help him pack - and mean it. Get rid, you can do better than this controlling cheat.

Dery Sun 19-Jul-20 21:34:37

‘In answer to your question, yes, I’d call it quits. He cheated, he ignores you for days, tries to control you, keeps threatening to leave. Why should you wait around for him to decide what he wants? Tell him if he wants to leave, you’ll help him pack - and mean it. Get rid, you can do better than this controlling cheat.’

This.

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