I am 35 years old and my third and final crushing failure ended in February. I've made the decision to close that part of my life permanently and I will never open it again. I will be staying single from now on and I won't let anyone near me again, that isn't something anyone can talk me out of now. I can cope alone. But... I'm devastated. It's all just plan B. I never wanted children or a glittering career. All I ever wanted was to love someone and be loved back. The feeling of never being good enough for anyone is soul destroying. Of having had so much love for someone who then gave everything to someone else, someone valid and worth it. I avoid people who I know will ask me if I'm seeing anyone, it's like they are picking at a painful scab. I'm not asking for reassurance that I'll meet someone as I said I'm not looking now and am completely emotionally unavailable. All faith or energy is long gone. I guess I'm just asking how to let go of so much bitterness and sadness for something I wanted and couldn't find. I feel so very sad.
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Shut the door for good
10 replies
AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 19/07/2020 09:36
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