My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Not my 'type'

9 replies

Rainydayss · 16/07/2020 22:54

After divorce has any of you gone for completely different person to your ex?
My exDH had a high powered job, quiet, respectful, sensible, yet turns out he was leading a double life for years..
So now I've met someone who's completely opposite in terms of is more practical, lower paid job bit hard worker, (dare I say it) - a bit rough around the edges but kind, thoughtful and genuine.
I'm just struggling with the difference and everyone's perception of the type of person I should be with.

OP posts:
Report
noego · 16/07/2020 23:11

Everyone's perception doesn't count. It is what you're attracted to that matters.

Report
Closetbeanmuncher · 16/07/2020 23:12

Other peoples perceptions don't matter; if it feels right go for it.

Report
tickertyboo · 16/07/2020 23:13

Why do you care about everyone's perception of the type of person you should be with?

Report
AnotherBiteMe · 16/07/2020 23:41

I don't have a type. All my exes (and current partner) have nothing in common except that they are all nice people.

Report
SoulofanAggron · 17/07/2020 00:46

It can be a rebound thing, you want someone who isn't going to be like your ex/act like he did. You might go off him. But I hope it goes well. xx

What other people think doesn't matter unless friends are telling you this new guy is bad news for a reason. Often we hear on these boards that fiends have warned someone their OH is dodgy, have worried for them, and they should've listened to them. Most people were very worried for me being with my ex, based on how uncaring he was to me and the effect he had on me.

So, yes, what other people think isn't important but you could bear their observations in mind and see if you notice him doing anything concerning.

Report
TossACoinToYerWitcher · 17/07/2020 01:15

I did.
Unfortunately, they didn't go for me... Blush

Grin

Report
backseatcookers · 17/07/2020 01:35

It's you that would be with them, if they are a decent person who treats you nicely why does it matter what people's 'perception' would be?

Report
MynameisHappind · 17/07/2020 06:56

I thought the common reaction is that you choose someone so different after a significant ex, otherwise it looks like you are not over them and trying to find them in other people?

Just because he is different from your ex doesn't mean he is incapable of doing what your ex's done.

Report
Eesha · 17/07/2020 07:30

My ex was very attractive, an alpha male, very professional from the outside yet abusive and controlling. After him, I had a few dates but ended up seeing someone who was more artsy, very unattractive, free spirited. I felt so much more alive with the latter and have tended to go for similar types afterwards.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.