So I anticipate getting shredded but here goes...
Mid 30s, for those looking in on it my relationship with my DW is perfect. House, jobs etc. But inside .. its been sexless and unromantic for a long time now. Never had kids. A few years ago I started realizing there was an issue but buried my head in the sand. But as you can imagine.. the inevitable happened and I struck up a friendship with someone through work. Never got physical but did push the boundary. Made me realise what was wrong with my current relationship.. In 2019 I told my DW that things needed to change. I dropped into depression and I'm trying to get myself out of a dark hole not helped by lockdown... DW just tells me to get on with it as we all are going through it. Over the past 6 months I tried to talk to her on numerous occasions ... but I've realized that she is probably happy continuing in a sexless marriage forever. She talks about guys at work most days, and I did once see that someone had left a flirty message on some work papers but it had no name and it was most likely a joke.
With the OW - We agreed relationship was unhealthy and went NC, but I still work with her. I'm not changing jobs. I just cant get her out of my head. I fully understand that its a fantasy - she is the opposite in many aspects. DW - career driven, no intention of a family, wears the trousers in the relationship.. not that interested in developing a very deep relationship. Work and friends first. OW probably more needy, all about family no real desire for a career and happy doing something she is passionate about.
I found a few MN threads really helpful - I understand that I need to focus purely on the current relationship and try and fix it. I'm setting up counselling - DW agreed to go but has taken no interest in it at all. But I feel like I've thrown in the towel already...I spent a week away and during the time I realised that neither of us spoke about how we were feeling etc ..it was just all practical messages.
Do I just try and get to counselling and hope that a mediator will be able to untangle this?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Feel like i'm in a Black Hole
Sterling314159 · 16/07/2020 13:30
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.