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Ex gf popping up

(9 Posts)
Redarrowfan12 Wed 15-Jul-20 18:46:20

So we broke up about her ago. I tried to try again. She said no(without saying no) were still on fb as friends and occasionally chat. Last chat was in March where she asked me if I was seeing anyone, I said no and asked if she was. Her reply was 'err not really' but might be going for a drink with someone but not sure yet....
I replied and although totally broken by this news I wished her well and told her I'll always have a soft spot for her. After a while she eventually ignored me like she always does and I left it Ben and tried to get on with my life.

Then around two months later she randomly likes a few of my posts, no message just liked a few then nothing again. So then last week I spotted a post that was connected to her work so i tagged her in it. Immediately she 'loved' the comment and then messaged me straight away to say thankyou. We had a few exchanges and I could tell she was prying for info about if I was seeing anyone. Eventually she said about a mutual friend who had met a girl and then said 'what about you?' My suspicion was right, she was looking for information.
I replied I've not found anyone as good as you yet.
Too which she replied (a few hours later) thanks. I don't think we would work if we tried again...
I accepted it (even though I didn't mention about trying again) and then I said I'll find someone eventually to which she replied 'I'm sure you will' and 'someone who has a motorbike' ( I like motorbikes)
I've replied and again she ignored me. I'm sure she'll reply again soon.

I'm just struggling why she wanted to know so much if I was seeing anyone then throw a 'we would never work if we tried again'

Any help?

OP’s posts: |
NotaCoolMum Wed 15-Jul-20 19:22:37

Haven’t you posted about her before? I’m sure you were told she’s only after an ego boost. The same still stands. Who cares why she’s asking? She doesn’t want to get back together otherwise she would have jumped on your comment about not finding “anyone as good” as her. Sorry OP but she’s stringing you along so she can feed her ego.

CoopsMalloops Wed 15-Jul-20 19:29:45

Ego boost.

Leaspr Wed 15-Jul-20 19:44:39

You compliment her and feed her ego every time She messages.
I would imagine she probably messages you when she’s feeling a bit down/unwanted, knowing you’ll give her the boost that she needs. Then she goes on about her day.
Sorry...I’d personally cut her off. She’s not exactly being a ‘friend’ and she’s made it clear you’d never work out.
You should put your energy in to someone else. Or just yourself!

Raidblunner Wed 15-Jul-20 19:56:47

Be brave and block her and begin to move on. Your just torturing yourself completely at your own expense. It really is over, it sure as hell is for her, you sound so desperate. If you read this story about one of your friends your advice would be the same.

Thingsdogetbetter Wed 15-Jul-20 19:59:28

I don't think she's doing push/pull, or ego boost, or fishing for info. It's more like she's trying to be polite and can't think of anything else to say. It's painful, polite small talk, nothing else. Everytime you try to complement her about being a great gf and are thus hinting non so subtly you want her back, she backs right off. Then guilt at ignoring/ghosting you sets in and she comes back with polite, but distant contact.

I think you'd read something into it if she asked you what you had for dinner.

Accept she's not interested. Accept neither of you want to actually be friends. You want her back. And she just wants to not feel guilty about dumping you.

Your constant puppy dog posts here are not going to get the answers you want. You want someone to eventually reply that she's obviously madly in love with you and all you have to do is keep waiting and trying. Not one poster on your numerous threads have said anything remotely 'hopeful' about this.

Give up, it's starting to get embarrassing, and frankly a bit stalky obsessive.

kazzer2867 Wed 15-Jul-20 20:04:06

Here's the link to your previous thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3852600-Why-is-my-ex-gf-doing-this

Sorry to be blunt, but you're not going to get the answers you want to hear just by changing your username and starting new posts. Re-read the answers you got from the above thread and your other threads you have posted. You broke up with her 18 months ago and your last thread you were seeing someone. As I said last time (2nd July), I actually feel sorry for the new girl who obviously likes you more than you like her. Remember, you are posting about an ex who you believe to be stringing you along. Don't do the the same to this new girl.

You sound obsessive and this is unhealthy behaviour. Time to work on yourself and move on.

Justcallmebebes Wed 15-Jul-20 22:19:48

Sorry but she's just not into you. Move on

rvby Wed 15-Jul-20 22:49:45

I replied I've not found anyone as good as you yet.

Come on op. Get some self respect. She doesnt want you, please stop throwing your heart at her, she is only going to stomp on it! And not even because she is trying to be mean.

She probably wishes you would move on and be happy, so she is checking in with you every so often to see if her wish has been granted. That's likely the extent of it.

She must be mortified every time you make the kinds of emotionally manipulative statements like the above.

Leave her alone and get some counselling, for your own sake.

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