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Long distance relationships - tips!

(9 Posts)
Autumn101 Wed 15-Jul-20 15:52:35

DH and I have found ourselves in a long distance relationship - we were all living overseas but due to Covid uncertainty and the effects on the country we were in the DC and I have returned back to UK. DH is staying there until he can either find a job back in UK or made redundant, we have no idea if this will happen in 3 months or 12 months...... Hopefully he will be able to come and visit us but that’s not guaranteed obviously.

It’s not what we ever planned to happen or wanted to happen but this is the best option for the DC.

So any tips for a long distance relationship? Any advice on the positives or negatives would be appreciated! We’ve been together 20 years, married for 14 (DC are 12 and 10) and generally have a very good relationship.

OP’s posts: |
TheStuffedPenguin Wed 15-Jul-20 15:55:41

I hope you haven't left him in Dubai !

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 15-Jul-20 15:57:53

Regular times you talk to him when the kids aren't there.

Have a life. So that you aren't just talking about the kids.

Autumn101 Wed 15-Jul-20 16:57:55

No not Dubai! But in that region......... Much as he’d like to leave frankly we need the money incase he’s made redundant and it takes a while to find another job, my earnings are minimal.

OP’s posts: |
okiedokieme Wed 15-Jul-20 17:06:30

Talk daily if possible and try what dd and dp do - virtual date nights which seems to be chocolates, cider and watching Netflix on one screen whilst chatting on the other. It's hard but with the bigger picture you'll get through it

TheStuffedPenguin Wed 15-Jul-20 18:47:42

Autumn101

No not Dubai! But in that region......... Much as he’d like to leave frankly we need the money incase he’s made redundant and it takes a while to find another job, my earnings are minimal.

As a short term plan then this could work and agree with what people above have said . Try not to let it drag on though as families do become disconnected in these situations .

goldpendant Wed 15-Jul-20 19:03:51

Hi Autumn....

Qatar?

DH and I did this for 22 months. Our choice (schooling related return to UK).

It is bloody hard.

BUT, survive it and it'll make you 10x stronger than you ever have been.

Tips:

Face time for kids, not every day, they will tire of it. Maybe weekly.

Contact for you both as if he's up the road, sweet nothings, daily crap etc on WhatsApp etc, it keeps things normal. Equally it's fine to not have an official longer call every day. You will have your hands full.

Send pics of the kids, or short video messages if they find it easier.

For a while you won't understand each other's worlds, he will be lonely and you will be frantic. You both need to go into this with this as your mantra or your shared understanding.

A shared goal helps; can you refurb a room in your home and have a shared Pinterest board, or plan for a "when we reunite family holiday"? Longer term plans that you both contribute to will keep you focussed.

Good luck and feel free to PM me.

Autumn101 Thu 16-Jul-20 07:46:07

Gold pendant - yes Qatar! We’ve had a great 3.5 years there but no longer the place for us as the DC get towards teenagers and just can’t risk disruption to schooling now the job market is so uncertain.

Great advice and ideas thank you, I’ll try them out. We’re hoping this will be a maximum of 12 months.......

OP’s posts: |
goldpendant Thu 16-Jul-20 12:35:54

Well I don't blame you for wanting to escape the heat and the lockdown!

It is manageable- lots of people do it. It was certainly never part of our plan either to be apart at all! But life takes its twists and turns and it's prudent to make the most of the opportunities there while your DH has job security.

Good luck!

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