Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Creating a happy life for yourself whilst still IN the unhappy marriage?(4 Posts)
Has anyone managed to do this?
I have around 1 year until I can fully support myself and my children financially. I am stuck in the unhappy marriage and home with DH for the foreseeable future. I thought that lockdown would me much harder than it turned out to be, but I found that with less external pressures, DH and I were able to operate quite civilly.
Now that lockdown is easing, external pressures are emerging again and DH and I are at loggerheads as he disengages with family life.
I'm very unhappy. We have 2 very young DCs and I don't get much emotional support from him at all, although practically, he's very good.
I don't want to just hum along for the next year, if lockdown has taught me anything, it's that I want to thrive.
Can I thrive whilst I'm still in this unhappy marriage and environment?
Has anyone managed to thrive in these conditions?
What do I need to do?
I want my mojo back.
I was in a similar position, it took me 11 months between a definite decision to leave, to me actually walking out of the door.
I took up some freelance work to boost my confidence and my cv (was a sahm) wrote a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I left as i knew I'd be moving to a new town, took up a new hobby to get me out of the house, lost some weight and started using the gym while I had a husband to look after the kids. Read loads of books, made the most of childcare to go out with my friends and go to book groups etc. At the moment there's loads of online entertainment so you could find some things you enjoy even if you don't have childcare. I've been joining online classes etc and have really enjoyed some of them, watching theatre online etc.
Well done for making the decision to leave, these next few months will be tough so make sure you look after yourself!
Thank you @Needtogetbackinthesa
I love all your ideas.
Can you recommed where to look for online classes? I keep trying to find seminars and classes online but no luck.
Nothing to add but watching with interest. I am a sahm. I've decided when youngest dc starts pre-school I am going to join a few things outside of the home. I think I've made the decision to stay, things aren't too bad but clearly not right. The first thing I want to do is more work on myself, I am always berating myself, I intend to find more interests and meet more people.
Please login first.