Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
Plenty Of Fish(34 Posts)
Ok, so 3 years single. Joined match, but it was a bit crap due to lockdown, which is understandable. I've joined POF... I'm 42.., anyone had any success or am I wasting my time?
I met my late partner on Plenty of Fish. I joined as my marriage was breaking up. I'd lost loads of weight while my marriage was crumbling & just before I left him I won £8k on online bingo, had my hair & nails done & bought a whole new wardrobe of clothes as everything I owned was too big. Within 24 hours of joining I had loads of messages from some gorgeous men, most of them much younger than me, one kept on messaging me until I replied to him. I was honest & told him I was still married, that my marriage was dead in the water & I was going to end it as soon as I could. He said that he loved chatting to me & would like to meet up with me once I had managed to get free, we swapped phone numbers & chatted whenever we could. Once I had left my husband I booked a day off work & arranged to meet him, we had a lovely day, just walking & talking, when it was time to go home, I didn't want to leave him. That night as I was putting ds to bed, he sent me a lovely message & asked me to be his girlfriend if I felt the same about him as he felt about me. I had told him I was a single mum & that didn't phase him, even though he was young, he had a child from a previous relationship. After a couple of weeks, he asked to meet ds, we took a picnic to a lovely place where ds could run about & play, they got on really well, he was moving in to a flat on his own, we were living with my parents, we started to go every weekend to stay with him & for longer during the school holidays, I went on my own if ds was at his dad's. Once I got a house, he started to come & stay at mine or I went to his if ds was at his dad's. We were together nearly 5 years, only him passing away split us up. You might have to kiss a few frogs but there are some lovely men on there, you will soon weed out all the chances & losers, take your time, enjoy having fun messaging until you find someone you want to meet.
I'm 47 now, met my current partner on there just at the start of this year, and yes there were some really bad experiences through it, but perseverance is key, my current partner and I are completely smitten with each other and we are planning our futures together. If you sont mind a bit of weeding you can find a beautiful rose.
DS met his lovely wife on POF 10 years ago.
They're still very 'loved up' and have a gorgeous 8 year old DD.(our 3rd DGC).
Coming on to suggest bumble as an alternative to POF. I had a lot more success on there, possibly because I didn't have to filter through the hundreds of weird messages I got on pof. It's free so worth seeing if you like it
I had a lot of fun doing POF. I never met "the one" but i went on loads of dates, met some lovely men (amd yes, some weirdos) but generally it was a good laugh and gave me a lot of confidence.
I didnt go into it with the intention of meeting a forever love, btw. Obviously that would have been nice, but it was really about getting used to being in a different sort of relationship after a long and unhappy marriage.
I've met 3 men IRL on POF and 1 on Bumble. I tend to hide my profile on and off to stop becoming inundated by "hey how are you" messages... but the blokes I've met have been fine. Seen one about 6 times now and another have a second date on Friday. I don't like the fact that you can see when people are online though...
Met my husband on pof 8 years ago. Worth a shot!
I've just rejoined the horror that is POF. I'm 40 and the 38 year old men are all still child free, partying types yet any 40+ look extremely aged and just not my type/seem to come with loads of baggage, come across bitter. I've no idea if there's been some time glitch or that really all the decent are taken. It's quite depressing!
Go for it. I know a few people who meet their partners there.
@Nat6999 that was a lovely story about how you met your partner, sorry for your loss.
POF is hideous. Too many married men, scammers and catfish. I have a POF account, but I'm incognito. I much prefer Bumble or Tinder.
I met a man on POF who had a relationship with me spanning a few months. All the "I love yous" etc.
One night he went downstairs whilst i was asleep. Stole my laptop, phone and snuck out the backdoor. Never to be seen again. He was known to the police and had form for it.
My met a man on POF and theyre happily married with a DC now.
Sometimes it works, sometimes its doesnt. Ive known more failures than success however.
Keep your wits about you, trust noone. Make sure that they give you more time than you give them, and if anything feels wrong. Dont do it. Dont continue.
Always see where they live, passport/driving licence, proof of address etc if it starts to progress, Might seem OTT but I learned the hard way. When I met my DP (not through OLD) I had him send me a copy of his license, DOB etc.
Always tell someone who youre meeting, when and where. Send your friend a photo of said man before you meet.
Good luck and stay safe.
You will get different stories from different people. I have dated a couple of guys I met on POF (none of them worked out) but Tinder and Bumble I found a complete waste of time. Others may say the opposite.
I think you just have to give them all a try and see for yourself.
I dated men on Tinder. Bumble and POF for 4 years. POF I spent most of the time deleting messgaes - could tell mostly just from the pictures not to even bother opening them. I was about to delete it again one day, when a face appeared along the bottom I thought looked nice. We've now been together over a year.
It takes a lot of luck!!
I've just had a look at bumble out if interest and once I narrowed the search to a 25 mile radius it said There's no one available. I live in a city so find that hard to believe
I'm 48 and met my partner on POF 8 years ago in September 😊
Deleted POF after a couple of despondent weeks
Pof is good
Have to go through a load of time wasters though but there are some nice men on there
All the men on POF are very unattractive I find. Not for me.
I met my now DH on POF 10 years ago. I was very lucky (or not fussy ) as he was actually the first guy I met irl from there.
A good friend of mine joined POF about a year, we did have a lot of laughs about some of the messages she received but she's met a truly lovely guy and they've been together about 9 months now.
I met dh on POF. Met some weirdos and one stalker first. I rejoined without a pic after stalker and messaged dh with a pic in message. Been together nearly 12 years and still smitten.
Met my fiancee on POF
Sister met her fiance of POF too
I didnt have any awful experiences
I met DH on POF.
I also met many losers - but met them in RL too
I met my partner on there, been with him 5 years now.
Please login first.