Partner being sneaky part 2

[Mumof2babies]

So a few people might remember my previous post about my partner deleting messages from a woman at work and just generally being sneaky
Today things kind of came to a head and I told him that I knew he had deleted the messages
Hes still maintaining it was a woman from work and that shes in her 50s however I looked at this woman's Facebook profile on his phone as funnily enough I cant seem to find her on my own profile which leads me to believe that she has blocked me for some reason ..she definitely doesnt look to be in her 50s and also has a profile picture with a snapchat filter added ....I also noticed that he had been talking to a friend of mine that he says he doesnt like but most of the messages had also been deleted and notifications for the chat have been turned off so they wont come through
Am I actually deluded or is something else going on here

[Lalaloveyou2020]

You're being gaslighted. Just trust your gut instinct as you obviously don't trust your partner - justifiably so.

[Mumof2babies]

@Lalaloveyou2020 I honestly feel as though I'm going crazy like I'm making up something in my head that isn't even therev

[Lalaloveyou2020]

That's gaslighting. Have you confided in anyone in real life?

[Mumof2babies]

@Lalaloveyou2020 no I havent ..I mean I already think I'm going mad I dont particularly want other people to think I'm a deluded mental cow too

[hellsbellsmelons]

I'm 51 and I don't look my age.
And I have lot of interest from younger guys too!!!
That is a red herring.
Trust your insticts.
This isn't right.
So what now for you?

[Mumof2babies]

@hellsbellsmelons I honestly dont know..I feel kinda bad that I've now accused him of stuff without concrete evidence that something is or has gone on but for me the deleting messages etc is a huge thing seeing as hes actually told me off before for the same thing but the messages I deleted was from a friends brother that I've known since he was 12 and I never even replied and he knew that this person was annoying me so I blocked them and deleted all the messages

[backseatcookers]

You don't trust him and rhis isn't a healthy relationship.

Why are you not planning to leave?

You don't need an officially sanctioned reason to do so, or smoking gun proof, you have every right to leave a relationship for any reason.

You're unhappy and don't trust him. That's more than enough reason.

[Pesimistic]

Sorry but if my partner was deleting messages and had notifications turned off I'd be packing his bag. You dont realy need any concrete evidence. Women are very good at knowing that the situation is without proof, but as he is doing to you, we get told were crazy so then we hunt further. You dont need to you know what's going on, just get rid of him

[Whatisgoingdown]

I thought I was going mad too, I truly did. I was actually quite relieved when it did finally come out and I could piece everything together. I was obviously devastated but I knew something was up and I wasn't wrong. Absolutely go with your gut. Men seem to be so good at gaslighting, I never thought he'd do it to me but there you go.
Look after yourself

[gryffindor1987]

Hi op from experience deleting messages only happens for one thing . They are inappropriate and he doesn't want you to see them also turning notifications off he doesn't want you to know he's messaging this women because he knows it's wrong . I'd leave him . If he isn't already cheating he is probably planning too x

[Mumof2babies]

I had a really long chat with him lastnight about it and he told me that he had turned off the notifications off because the friend of mine that he apparently doesnt like keeps sending him weird videos and stuff ..I dont know what to believe I mean I could ask the friend but who's to say he hasnt already spoken to her to tell her what to say ..I'm very suspicious because I know that she has done it before she slept with her kids dad on a number of occasions fully knowing that he had a new girlfriend shes also done it with someone else who she knew had a girlfriend

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

He is lying. Why would her being 50 be an alibi to his innocence? I am 10 years older than my dh!..

[backseatcookers]

@Mumof2babies

I had a really long chat with him lastnight about it and he told me that he had turned off the notifications off because the friend of mine that he apparently doesnt like keeps sending him weird videos and stuff ..I dont know what to believe I mean I could ask the friend but who's to say he hasnt already spoken to her to tell her what to say ..I'm very suspicious because I know that she has done it before she slept with her kids dad on a number of occasions fully knowing that he had a new girlfriend shes also done it with someone else who she knew had a girlfriend

Why wouldn't he have just mentioned to you that she was sending him "weird videos" and stuff? Why the secrecy around something that's not a big deal until you lie about it?

As I said before, you clearly don't trust him so why are you looking for more and more reasons to leave him when you not trusting him is reason enough?!

Do you genuinely believe this is a healthy relationship?