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I am in need of the biggest handhold to get out of the situation I am in

(45 Posts)
SuperlativeScrubs Mon 13-Jul-20 22:33:41

I am in an abusive relationship. Tonight I am cutting all ties and hiding away where he won't find me. I have taken all social media offline and abandoned others with the exception of Mumsnet (which he doesn't know about). I am even changing my personal email which is hard because so much goes through there.

Please help me. I can't go back.

OP’s posts: |
leafeater Mon 13-Jul-20 22:35:25

Are you safe, OP? Are you with someone who can help you?

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 13-Jul-20 22:38:23

Handhold flowers

Do you have RL support?

CanWeComeIntoTheOutNow Mon 13-Jul-20 22:39:36

Have you got everything you need?

TokyoSushi Mon 13-Jul-20 22:40:49

Oh love, are you somewhere safe now?

saffy1234 Mon 13-Jul-20 22:41:34

Hi OP ,squeezing your hand tightly here.Do you have all you need and family/friend support.Any DC? Xxxx

saffy1234 Mon 13-Jul-20 22:41:44

Hi OP ,squeezing your hand tightly here.Do you have all you need and family/friend support.Any DC? Xxxx

BananaBabies Mon 13-Jul-20 22:43:03

You can do this, Superlative!

Fatted Mon 13-Jul-20 22:44:13

Good luck OP. Are you in a place of safety?

SoulofanAggron Mon 13-Jul-20 22:46:45

Hugs OP. Superlative is the word. flowers xxx

sandieshaw Mon 13-Jul-20 22:46:56

Absolutely OP, you’re not going back. This is the start of your happily ever after and you’ll have everyone on Mumsnet behind you (and that’s a lot of people).
Stay safe & stay strong x

Iflyaway Mon 13-Jul-20 22:50:42

Here's my hand.
Please be safe.

I've been through it and am thriving now.
So is my son.

Good for you for taking the best decision for your future!

claireyjs Mon 13-Jul-20 22:57:04

Big hugs OP...hard situation but right decision. Remember your local womens aid charity are there to offer practical support and advice if needed.

Newnamenewopenme Mon 13-Jul-20 22:59:54

Brilliant! There will be moments of doubt that you will need to work through, if I was you, while it’s still fresh in your mind write a list of reasons you’ve gone so that you can remind yourself if you need it.

Well done for taking these steps, you are so close to the happy life you deserve.

stoptheride Mon 13-Jul-20 23:07:15

Bless you, be strong xxx hand hold from me.

SuperlativeScrubs Mon 13-Jul-20 23:16:17

Thank you all so much <3

Trying to be vague just in case as I have mentioned MN to him before, but not sure he knows I am even present on here. I am fortunate enough for us to be long distance at this moment in time
so yes, i am very safe and thousands of miles away at the moment flowers thank you.

I do have IRL support but i am embarrassed and not ready to involve the wider family. I don't need to when I am in no physical danger either.

Right now I am secretly abandoning my current online accounts to cut all online ties to him (social media and forums etc) and making new ones. Reasons may become clear later on as it all develops.

So far I have changed my main email and changed to this new one on utilities, letting agent, Uni and work. Universal Credit is offline right now so it will have to wait. Anything I have forgotten?

Thanks again for all the handholds. Currently drinking Gin and trying to be brave but it is hard.

OP’s posts: |
surreymumof03 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:16:34

hi, first of all well done on being so brave. i removed myself from a situation like this years ago. it is hard but just keep the end goal in sight, freedom, happiness. are you safe?

SierraHotel Mon 13-Jul-20 23:18:25

So brave, this is a massive thing you're doing, please take care. Good luck.

HollowTalk Mon 13-Jul-20 23:21:28

Get rid of all your Sent and Draft messages on your old email, just in case he's accessing it.

Best of luck - you are very brave.

2020nymph Mon 13-Jul-20 23:21:35

Here's my hand. Well done lovely, you've got this. thanks

AcrossthePond55 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:23:33

Wow!! You are marvelous. It takes a lot to go 'cold turkey'. Well done you for taking this step. Your future's so bright you gotta wear shades.

echodot Mon 13-Jul-20 23:31:23

Be 💪 strong

hiddeneverythin Mon 13-Jul-20 23:31:22

Here for you. You are brave and strong

leopardprintlara Mon 13-Jul-20 23:31:51

Well done OP. Its the best feeling to be free. I was in an abusive relationship too. I still feel embarrassed and ashamed 10 years later. I didn't tell my family. It really can happen to anyone. I was stalked and isolated in another country and alone. I hope you're not alone. Change your phone number along with all the email etc.

Nat6999 Mon 13-Jul-20 23:35:26

Make sure you change your bank account in case he knows your account number, Sort code & PIN number. If you speak to your mobile phone provider, they will change your phone number if you tell them you are a DV victim.

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