This is a just a probably too long wait but I need to get it out.
We did IVF in January and I’m expecting a second DC in October. not having the easiest pregnancy what with entertaining DD in lockdown and reasonably bad anaemia.
About a month after I conceived, my DH had a breakdown in his mental health. It was triggered by resurfacing memories of a sexual trauma in his late teens. He has stopped eating to any routine at all. He’s lost about three stone and looks skeletal - my mother asks if he has an eating disorder. He has panic attacks, he gets stress hiccups that strain his diaphragm and cause vomiting. Perhaps three times a week? He is EXCELLENT with our DD but especially in lockdown I’ve been taking the brunt of his mood swings and his rages. He’s never hit me but he has become very shouty, very sweary and very implacable. He will refuse to accept any mitigating circumstances and just demand I “take responsibility and stop evading and diminishing things” over and over til I cry and either leave or give him what he wants. On one occassiom he woke dd and she came down and told him to stop shouting at mummy. He has gone to the GP and was put on sertraline which has improved his mood. It was like getting my old DH back, loving and warm and fun. But he still struggles with eating, with hiccups and he gets exhausted. He’ll fall asleep all the time, putting DD to bed, at work (he works from home permanently) and can be hard to rouse. I’m exhausted from trying to pick up around it.
We have a cat. We rescued her six years ago and she was estimated to be between 10-12. She’s been getting doddery and today slipped and broke her femur. We took her to the vet and they also found extensive kidney damage. He is insisting she gets referred to a clinic, gets surgery on her leg. We can afford it but I am not sure it’s kind. My two year old is also really upset about her cat though I know she will recover. I just feel worn utterly thin. I love him so much but I am so concerned there’s a lot more going on and I can’t keep up with everything. Especially with a baby due in three months. Basically I really need a hug.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I need a hug. Depressed DH, difficulties possible cat being PTS
DrowsyDragon · 13/07/2020 18:57
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