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Liar

(10 Posts)
SissyLongStockings Mon 13-Jul-20 03:05:33

Hi all.
So i was dating a bloke last year, divorced with two kids whom I never met. We moved in together ( yeah i know I cringe now at how quick it was.)
In April he finished with me saying his two children werent coping with the break up of his marriage. The oldest one was self harming and they both needed help. He said he needed to focus all of his attention on them.
Although I was heartbroken I understood that his children needed his full attention. So I left. He messaged me a couple of times but then it fizzled out.
I have just found out that what he told me was in fact a complete lie. There was nothing wrong with his kids. He wanted his ex wife back. But she had met someone else, although she isnt in that relationship now.
I feel like such an idiot.
Taken in by what I feel is a Conmam.
Im so angry at him, myself. He gave me the usual flannel "I love you" "I want a family with you" the whole nine yards. And I fell for it.
I emailed him before I found out saying I understood why he ended things and I wished him and his family all the best. Now I wish I hadnt bothered. He never replied of course.
How do I get past this? I have so many different emtions whizzing through me. Please be kind.
I feel like a complete fool already

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Mon 13-Jul-20 03:09:54

You get beyond this by realising how lucky you are to have dodged this bullet. He did you the biggest favour of your life when he left. I know it was painful, but it's the truth.

Itsallpointless Mon 13-Jul-20 03:24:20

It's shit OP. Having someone lie to you is very hard to get over. You're not a fool either, so don't be thinking that.

Time is a great healer, it's all quite raw still, and probably will be for a while. I'm sure you're imagining all kinds of scenarios at the moment.

I've been lying awake thinking about my lying ex, so, though not heartbroken, I struggle with the lies too.

SissyLongStockings Mon 13-Jul-20 03:28:41

Why didnt he just tell me the truth? I would have been upset but it would have been the truth

OP’s posts: |
Sparklfairy Mon 13-Jul-20 03:37:03

Because they're cowards OP. He wanted his wife back (and only because someone else wanted her) but most likely in the back of his mind he was wondering whether it might not work out with her, so he was keeping his options open to come back to you. If you'd never found out and he'd come back in a few months saying the kids are in a more stable place emotionally, you'd probably have welcomed him back and been praising what a wonderful father he was. It was all about him, his options, his image.

Itsallpointless Mon 13-Jul-20 03:42:42

Like @Sparklfairy said, bloody coward.

This says nothing about you OP. Don't let this 'man' take up all your energy.

SissyLongStockings Mon 13-Jul-20 03:42:56

@Sparklfairy
He didnt come back to me though when he found out. He didnt want me at all. It was just lies.😢

OP’s posts: |
itstrue Mon 13-Jul-20 03:45:53

It's really not a reflection on you. It's all him. He was keeping his options open.

Happynow001 Mon 13-Jul-20 05:28:55

SissyLongStockings

*@Sparklfairy*
He didnt come back to me though when he found out. He didnt want me at all. It was just lies.😢


Don't break your heart about someone So morally defective like this. Instead, thank your lucky stars that, hard though it feels now, it was no worse. That you didn't invest more in this failed relationship either financially or by having children with him.

Longdistance Mon 13-Jul-20 05:40:11

Be prepared not to get sucked in to their charade. It won’t work out for them, I can tell. He went sniffing back to the ex because she was seeing someone else.
He’ll try creeping back to you as the next best option because you’re on the back burner. Which when he does pop his head above the parapet, you tell him to 🖕🏼Foxtrot Oscar.

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