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Breakup advice - so sad

(14 Posts)
MixedUpMuddledUp Sun 12-Jul-20 08:07:44

Bf of nearly 2 years has dumped me during lockdown and I don’t really know why. He hasn’t wanted to see me even when we were allowed, now he’s ended it and I’m gutted. It’s been lonely enough but I had the thought of seeing him and hearing from him to look forward to, now that’s gone and I’m so so sad. There were a lot of things that weren’t right but I loved him and until a few weeks ago he said he loved me too, I miss him so much and can’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. I feel so low and worthless that I wasn’t enough for him. How the hell do I get through this? 😢

OP’s posts: |
firstimemamma Sun 12-Jul-20 08:13:06

Sorry to hear you've had a tough time thanks

Peridodo Sun 12-Jul-20 08:17:07

It’s a cliche but time is a great healer. This relationship just wasn’t meant to be sadly and it’s better you can move on and find someone else when you are ready. You mention lot’s of things that weren’t right so focus on that, those things would have just got worse the longer you stayed together. You are not worthless and you will feel stronger as time goes on.

I would say focus your time on things you enjoy and take your mind off what’s happened.
- Exercise
- Hobbies
- TV/Films that you can get engrossed in.
- Catching up with family and friends and talking to them for support.
- Online learning of some kind.
- Anything that brings you joy.

flowers

ExpectingatChristmas Sun 12-Jul-20 08:21:22

I'm so sorry. It must be even more difficult to deal with this situation when you are feeling low.

As much as it hurts right now it will all feel much more manageable when you can throw yourself into work and socialising.

Just think better to find out now than later on. One day when you are in a better place with someone who values you you will look back and realise he has done you a favour.

Mummyof2girls5and10 Sun 12-Jul-20 08:26:29

Awww bless you. I know its hard and easier said than done but don't just sit around in your scruffs eating junk food and feeling low. Pick yourself up,dust yourself down,get a shower and wash your hair,put your face on and make yourself feel good about you again. Positive thinking is key. Good luck

Windmillwhirl Sun 12-Jul-20 08:35:13

I'm so sorry you are hurting. Breakups are rarely pain-free especially when it was unexpected.

At the moment you are thinking of all his good points you will miss. In order to get through this you have to balance it out with reasons it didn't work out. The things that were problems and caused you hurt.

As said, it's going to take time. You want someone that wants you. If that's not him then he is right to go.

Sassanacs Sun 12-Jul-20 08:37:28

It's not that you weren't enough. The last few months has been hard on everyone and it's led us all to reevaluate things. It just wasn't meant to be so don't be down on yourself.

Just accept it and spend some time on yourself and your own wellbeing.

It's shit but you'll be ok wine

MixedUpMuddledUp Sun 12-Jul-20 09:50:59

I just don’t understand it, we’ve gone from being so close to like strangers and I don’t know what happened to change his mind. This fucking lockdown has destroyed us.

OP’s posts: |
DarkmilkAddict Sun 12-Jul-20 10:06:21

I’m so sorry OP flowers no advice to add, but just know that you’re not alone. It’s the worst pain.

Techway Sun 12-Jul-20 10:10:54

How old are you? Breakup's are hard but you will recover. Why not try to challenge yourself, do something everyday so that you have focus.

It is often around 2 years that relationships get to the point of deepening or breaking up. It is hard to see at the time but it might be for the best, only when you met someone new that you realise the fit is better.

babbi Sun 12-Jul-20 10:22:14

I’m so sorry , it’s sad when this happens and the worst feeling at the start but it will get better , unfortunately no fast track through this but you will get there .
Please read @Peridodo post again and start on that , she’s exactly right .. take that as your action plan .

Take care ...

TwentyViginti Sun 12-Jul-20 10:24:55

It's not lockdown per se - he just doesn't want to be with you any more. The quicker you accept that, the quicker you'll move on.

Maybe he's realised he doesn't miss you that much, maybe he's got someone else - whatever the reason, keep your dignity and accept it's over.

workingmumagain Sun 12-Jul-20 11:22:50

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

As a poster above said, "it's shit but it'll be ok".

Try to remind yourself that your record of getting through tough days is 100%. flowers wine

MixedUpMuddledUp Sun 12-Jul-20 11:27:10

I’m late 40s but it’s a long time since I’ve had this and it hurts as much as it did when I was a teenager 🙄 I just don’t get what changed, a few weeks ago he still loved and missed me and accepting it and moving on is not that easy without understanding why

OP’s posts: |

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