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Should DH have shown this to DD

(245 Posts)
Qwertywertyisme Sun 12-Jul-20 01:39:39

A few weeks DH showed me a stupid post on his phone sent by his imbecile/immature brother. It was a guy bending over doggy style with trousers down and he was holding onto what looked to be the woman's ankles and they were having noisy sex doggy style. In fact it was trick photography and he was holding onto shoes, there was no woman. I told him it was quite gross and forgot it. Next day he shows our 14 year old who was embarrassed and disgusted.

Today was act 2. Another post of a woman with huge breasts sitting behind her desk explaining to a parent that her son won't focus. Also showed our DD. She's disgusted.

Would you be ok with this ot not?

OP’s posts: |
SkeletorAttack Sun 12-Jul-20 01:50:14

Why would an adult man (let alone the child's father, which I assume DH is - apologies if wrong), think that these are suitable to show to a child?!

Any mature adult would be creeped out at the thought of showing this stuff to a child.

It's so creepy! Especially given the child's reaction to the first picture. You need to lose your shit over this.

rvby Sun 12-Jul-20 01:55:59

He is sexually abusing your dd. What you describe is sexual abuse. If he did the same to an adult it would be sexual harassment- he is harassing his own dd.

In terms of ethics he is really vile, and legally he is a criminal.

PurpleDaisies Sun 12-Jul-20 01:59:12

You know no one will be ok with this.

Gobb Sun 12-Jul-20 02:00:42

Definitely not. I wouldn't even be okay with him showing boys. Weird.

IHateCoronavirus Sun 12-Jul-20 02:04:55

Not at all ok. He needs it pointing out to him that he had crossed a massive line.
If DD had confided in another trusted adult, and told them the details you have shared, they would have a duty of care to log it as a child protection issue. In child protection terms, your DH has sexually abused your DD by showing her this material.

DramaAlpaca Sun 12-Jul-20 02:06:54

C'mon, you must know that's not OK. You need to have a severe word with your DH.

wildcherries Sun 12-Jul-20 02:08:19

WTF? At best he has some skewed boundaries. Tell him to grow up.

Graphista Sun 12-Jul-20 02:10:26


This is the sort of shit my dad would have done and tried to pass off as "just a joke" - he was my abuser starting at this age!

NO it's not fucking appropriate and he needs to stop being a creepy dick!

Aquamarine1029 Sun 12-Jul-20 02:10:50

Would you be ok with this ot not?

Is this a trick question? Of course it's fucking not ok. Your pervert husband is grooming his own daughter. I would get her away from him, even if it means calling social services. No decent, normal father would ever show his child this filth.

ReefTeeth Sun 12-Jul-20 02:13:54

Of course not OP hmm

I can't believe you have to ask actually.

thefourgp Sun 12-Jul-20 02:14:26

It’s sexual abuse. A grown man taking pleasure in making a teenage girl uncomfortable about sex? Even worse, it’s her father who should want to protect her from sexual predators and teach her not to tolerate sleazy men. I can’t believe you could possibly contemplate this being okay. It’s not funny. You should not allow him to make a joke of it and dismiss her feelings of discomfort. The two of you are setting a very bad example.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 12-Jul-20 02:16:25

Don't be an enabler for the sexual abuse inflicted upon your own child. You know what is going on here. If you allow this to continue, you are just as guilty as your sick freak of a husband.

Monty27 Sun 12-Jul-20 02:18:38

Why are you asking here. It's what you think that's important and more importantly your DD.
Also wtf does he think this is ok?

Cherrysoup Sun 12-Jul-20 10:41:47

You KNOW this isn’t ok! Who the fuck shows their 14 year old shit like this? I’d be absolutely furious with him. What was he thinking? Idiotic.

Thisisworsethananticpated Sun 12-Jul-20 10:48:06

Major boundary crossing

A very strict and firm word is needed and if he does it again , there is a problem

It’s hard as I have two sons and sometimes stuff does come up that’s inappropriate and we are all ‘Eeeew’ envy

But would I actively show it ? Nah

IdblowJonSnow Sun 12-Jul-20 10:52:52

Err no. Not ok.
I'm glad your DD is disgusted, shows she has healthy boundaries at least.
The fact that you're asking makes me wonder what kind of relationship you're in OP!
Are you happy with this guy?

Greenkit Sun 12-Jul-20 10:56:07

Disgusting paedophile behaviour from your DH.

Women are a commodity to be laughed at and abused. He is trying to show her that, rather than protect her.

BendyLikeBeckham Sun 12-Jul-20 11:04:06

please protect your DD, OP.

You know this is wrong. What else might be happening or about to happen that you don't know about?

KatherineParr4 Sun 12-Jul-20 11:06:08

I would have left by now. Of course it’s not OK!!

Namechange8471 Sun 12-Jul-20 11:09:00

That is disgusting, I have a dd and my partner would be kicked to the curb if he ever showed her anything like that!

She’s a child!

DrDreReturns Sun 12-Jul-20 11:09:08

I've got a 13 year olds No way would I show him anything like that. Ick.

Hinckers Sun 12-Jul-20 11:10:14

If this is real then why haven’t you left him by now?

AnyFucker Sun 12-Jul-20 11:11:39

What ?

SoulofanAggron Sun 12-Jul-20 11:12:23


PP's are right that it's virtually a dumping offence.

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