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Omegle - what is it?

(40 Posts)
Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 10:44:06

Hi
I’ve been a Mumsnet member for over 10 years so probably know how this is going to go. I’ve been with my partner for many years and we’re engaged. He has a bad history of cheating on his ex in the past but I’ve never had any reason to doubt him in our relationship until now.

I recently asked him to move out to give me some space as he can be what most of you would term as emotionally abusive, overbearing and verbally aggressive. He’s also drinks far too much every day. I love him and thought perhaps it would give him the chance to determine whether he wants in life any whether he wants to change.

I’ve never really had any reason to doubt his loyalty, as he’s always been so “in” to me. Anyway, judge me if you want and I’m fine with that, but in all the time we’ve been together I’ve never had any reason to check up on him. Today, I don’t even know why, I went on his mainly unused laptop and looked as his search history and he’s googled Omegle three times in the past two months. I can’t see anything else apart from the google search and that he visited the site (no other pages on the site come up apart from the main page). But he could be accessing it from his phone....I wouldn’t know as I never check).

Honestly - and I can take the news, what is this site and how does it work? I’ve read around it, but I can’t see how it actually works or why someone would repeatedly google it. I’m sitting here shaking as I think my heart is going to break.

OP’s posts: |
Kat92 Sat 11-Jul-20 10:55:18

It's not a dating site. It basically just let's you talk to strangers - you are paired with someone and you both can chat over webcam. Its similar to ChatRoulette if you've heard of that? I havent been on the website since I was 18 though.

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 11:01:02

Its a well known site for people randomly being matched for chat, sex chat mainly.
Its also full of cam girls looking to entice people to pay for online services.
Its total sleaze.

Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 11:01:09

Thank you for answering - so my searches I it imply that it can be used for online hook-ups (sorry I don’t even know if that’s how you describe it). Is this what most people use it for.

I know I sound vague and a bit naive - I’m just trying to work out if my six year relationship is essentially over.

OP’s posts: |
Razpoot Sat 11-Jul-20 11:02:00

Don't worry, it's not a dating website or camshows or anything like that (not directly). It connects you to a random stranger anywhere in the world. Could be an old fisherman, could be a bored teenager looking to make friends, a teacher, anybody. So I suppose technically yes you could meet a raunchy stranger if thats what youre concerned about but it's not exactly for that. It's basically just a bit of fun to speak to a completely random person, I never did it myself but my friends did when we were in highschool. I think for some people its just funny and weird and interesting to be put speaking with a complete stranger. I wouldnt worry about it OP

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 11:02:11

You deserve so much better OP x

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 11:04:17

When the site started, it was fun and was people looking for genuine chat, you have search filters where you can specify adult content, that is what it is mainly for now

Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 11:09:36

Thank you everyone so much.

Newernewist - your post just made me break down in tears.

I just don’t know what to do or what to say to him. I just feel so lost. I can’t even tell anyone in “real life” as I feel so confused. I want to believe it’s nothing to worry about so much.

I have so many friends and family who genuinely love me. They’d just tell me to leave.

OP’s posts: |
Hiccupiscal Sat 11-Jul-20 11:17:48

Op, i just looked this up for you. I was chatting within a click of a button, and this was the interaction within the first 5 seconds.

I'm sorry.

Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 11:23:22

Hiccupiscal - you did that for me? I can’t believe someone would do that for a total stranger. I didn’t have the courage to try it myself.

Thank you.

I have no idea what to say to him. I’m going to have to tell him I checked his laptop aren’t I?

OP’s posts: |
Hiccupiscal Sat 11-Jul-20 11:35:17

Technoincompetent

Hiccupiscal - you did that for me? I can’t believe someone would do that for a total stranger. I didn’t have the courage to try it myself.

Thank you.

I have no idea what to say to him. I’m going to have to tell him I checked his laptop aren’t I?

Oh, you are very welcome - a little while ago I was having a horrible time and started a thread, someone on here actually made an Internet inquiry on my behalf, waiting in a que to speak to an advisor and got me a load of information I couldn't get myself. I couldn't believe that a total stranger would spend thier time doing that for me.
It really helped.

The screenshot I sent you was what I got from the click of one button and several short messages in quick succession. I then left the chat after screenshotting for you.
Its not to say that every conversation would go this way. Could quite have easily been someone just wanting a platonic chat, but the fact that within the first few messages it turned sexual is likely a good indicator of what someone who uses the chat regularly- as the person i was "partnered" with claimed - is using omegle for.

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 13:05:57

How are you OP?

Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 13:20:03

Thank you for asking. I don't actually know how I am.

I haven't confronted him yet. He was in bed when I was posting earlier and could tell straight away that something was very wrong when he came downstairs (I have a terrible poker face). He kept asking me to talk to him, but I just couldn't as it all feels too raw at the moment. I need time to compute this and decide whether I'm going to end things.

In the end I asked him to take me home, so he did. He's said to call him later if I want to talk. But I don't think I will want to.

I had so much work planned today, but I can't even begin to start thinking about it. Maybe it would be a good escape plan though.

Is this something that most people would get past? Would I even want to? I don't honestly know.

OP’s posts: |
MikeUniformMike Sat 11-Jul-20 13:40:46

I've used Omegle - it was years ago and I didn't realise it was still going.
I didn't use it for sex chat, but the first thing some would say was "asl".

Age, sex, location.

I made online friends and had some chats but did no sexting.
Don't read too much into it just yet.

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 13:44:44

In my opinion, no its not something most people can get past.
I wouldn't.
The majority of people who go on to omegle, use a chat app called kik.
So normally a few lines of chat on the website, then kik details are exchanged.
Kik is like whats app, but with no phone number exchanged.
99% of kik chats are sex chat.
Pics can be exchanged on the app but not the website omegle.
He has broken the trust
Ive been hurt too many times to ever waste time with someone who has broken the trust like this.
When you do confront him, you will get a script, he will admit the bare minimum.
Say it was just chat maybe just non sexual, but like the previous poster showed, within minutes the conversation is steered to it.

Id have a day away from him.
Dont say anything yet about it.
Think about what you want to do.

He will then have time to concoct a story.
But i guarantee he will have the kik chat app on his phone x

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 13:45:41

Years ago omegle was naive and innocent.
It really is full of people wanting dirty chat

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal Sat 11-Jul-20 13:59:23

emotionally abusive, overbearing and verbally aggressive. He’s also drinks far too much every day.

This would be enough to end it to be honest. Great news that he's moved out.

YesYesBoi Sat 11-Jul-20 14:30:31

@Technoincompetent this is just one site. Usually the access many. There are actually videos of this site where men car fish other men because it's a very sexy based site.

Other such are chat Avenue, fab swingers. Your would think you maybe worry about tinder but it's the one you don't know about they use.

You could try to move past but for me he only did it again. 6 months NC,
Had to speak to him and he still doesn't get what he did wrong.

If they did they wouldn't do it, just be prepared for it to be denied, then an excuse maybe a little it's your fault and ignoring you for a bit.

JazzyJelly Sat 11-Jul-20 14:37:16

My ex was pretending to be a woman and sexting other men on there. I'm so sorry OP, I understand the bottom has dropped out of your world.

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 15:02:56

What possessed him to do that jazzyjelly?

JazzyJelly Sat 11-Jul-20 15:37:00

He's massively insecure about his weight, having been bullied about it as a child. He discovered a community of online obesity fetishism where fat women are given attention, and considered very desirable (not saying they're not, but specifically for their obesity, rather than who they are as people). Unfortunately for him, obese men are ten a penny and very low interest for most people. So he pretended to be a woman to make himself feel better about being obese. Very sad really.

Newernewist Sat 11-Jul-20 16:11:35

Yeah that is
Very hurtful for you though

Hiccupiscal Sat 11-Jul-20 17:08:41

Op, just wondering if you saw when and how long he accessed the website for?
Reading the replies, I've just realised it would obviously be on my history, but I just went to find out something for someone. Perfectly innocent?
Its a stretch but prehaps he was curious?
We've all fallen down an Internet black hole before now and accessed something we wouldn't usually, out of curiosity or a number of reasons?
If he hasn't got form for this behaviour, and that was the only website accessed for a short period of time, with no other site similar to that accessed, prehaps it is just innocent?
We are all tuned into jumping to conclusions when we see something unusual, and honest chat and his reaction should tell you all you need to know.

blackandwhite2020 Sat 11-Jul-20 17:14:51

I'll be honest, it doesn't sound good if his behavious has changed etc etc. But, i've really had an experience where I was emailed from 'facepic' saying my account was hacked. Now I set this up 17 years ago at uni and quite honestly forgot everything about it, so I had to go on it (reset my password n all that) to delete the account and i'll go on again to check its been deleted. If theres aaaaaaaany chance hems having the same situation just check with him! X

Technoincompetent Sat 11-Jul-20 17:19:45

No it doesn't say how long he was on the site. It didn't show anything other than that he had been on the main page. I thought about the curiosity element, but he googled it at least twice (I think it was three times in total if I remember correctly).

I took a couple of screen shots (well, photographs as it was on the laptop screen) and he searched it on the 4th May and then on 3rd June - when he then clicked on and visited the site. I don't know if he had then started a chat if more site hits would have registered in the history?

I know he watches porn, and I really don't have a problem with that (I understand why some people do though, and I get that), but he idea of hook-up chats with strangers is just not something that I could bear to live with.

I still haven't spoken to him. I don't know what to say. If it is completely innocent, he's going to be so offended with me and upset (and quite rightly so I guess).

OP’s posts: |

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