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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Navigating a path out of painful break up

7 replies

anotherglass · 10/07/2020 18:22

Hello, I'm moving the through the raw, painful stages of a recent break up with someone I cared about deeply. The relationship brought light and joy to my life but wasn't meant to be. Tips please on how to navigate the disorientation and pain of the early days of a separation, which you did not instigate. I accept it is over but am having difficulty letting go. Thanks x

OP posts:
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user1486131602 · 10/07/2020 18:24

Be kind to yourself, as you would a friend was going thru this.
Take time, grieve, accept and try to let go.
Sending you some hugs 🤗 it’s a shitty place to be xx

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anotherglass · 10/07/2020 18:31

user1486131602 - thank you for your kinds words. x

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carreterra · 10/07/2020 20:17

@anotherglass

I commented on someone else's thread yesterday, can i suggest the same 2 poems you can read online?
"Love after love" by Derek Walcott
"And nothing is ever as perfect as you want it to be" by Brian Patten.
Flowers

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Sugartitties · 10/07/2020 20:46

sending love op.

when i was in this situation i would think back to a previous breakup where i thought i’d die without him and laugh because i feel indifferent to them now.

you will be fine xx

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litterbird · 10/07/2020 20:54

Please take care of yourself and treat a break up like a broken leg, you need time to heal and you need time to get better and time to work through the horrid feelings. If it gets too much take time off work or if you are furlough and can get away from the 4 walls of your house a change of scenery can do wonders.

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rvby · 10/07/2020 21:00

Write down your feelings whenever they start to hurt too much.

Take long baths, reread novels you loved in your teenage years, draw things, do crafts, rewatch childhood films or start a new box set. Buy comfortable, beautiful lounging clothes, your favourite treats, light candles, buy flowers and set them all over the house. Even just a bloom in each room, in a teacup or glass, will do. Spend time in nature. Cry, and remind yourself that it's ok to cry and feel pain.

So sorry you are hurting so much. It is such a hard thing. Xx

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YouReallyAre · 10/07/2020 21:07

I echo a pp, I genuinely thought my world had ended in 2015 and spent so much of the summer crying over someone that I would probably pass in the street now without a second glance. I also broke up with someone in 2019 and thought I'd never find anyone else I liked as much.

Neither of these people mean anything to me any more and it really does just take time. You will be ok and you will come through it.

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