a few months ago I caught my DP using an online chat site (free and anonymous) to speak to people. I was outraged and hurt. He gave me the login which I'd never have known otherwise and I could read everything (well, the website deletes everything every 28 days). He definitely didn't hide anything from me and I could see the bad and the not so bad. Having read it, seen how he refused to give his number out or his real name, I said I'd try forgive him. I didn't see the actual conversations as actual cheating, more a form of escapism porn / cyber infidelity.
I have been doing fine, if anything our relationship massively improved. He volunteered far too much information to be transparent and began seeing a therapist as he wants to understand why he did it. Things got better quickly and he has been an ideal partner. However, because he decided to spill the truth to me, I can't get one thing out of my head, and that's whether he used a dating site. He would have been able to for this short period when his use of this other site started. He says he didn't, he used this one for anonymity. However, we lived in different locations for most of Mon-Friday (I might see him one of those days and every weekend) so he could have done something. The thing is, I will never find out and this would have been years ago (2017) it can't have been any other time as all my friends are on it and would have found him when we moved in together. I also remember always seeing his phone when I visited and never noting anything suspicious.
I can't shake it. I don't know if it's paranoia/anxiety (I have diagnosed OCD) or my gut, in which case I am usually correct.
A part of me wants to try and forget it and move on, seeing this change as the beginning of a new relationship. Does anyone have any advice?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
wondering if I know the truth after infidelity
16 replies
inyert · 10/07/2020 10:34
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.