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If finances were no object, would you like to live on your own?

(76 Posts)
rubyleemurray Fri 10-Jul-20 07:00:53

Just wondering how many people would prefer to live in their own house and their DP had their own house too, given the choice.

Pros:
-no requirement to adhere to someone else's standard of cleanliness or to put up with someone else's mess
- seeing each other becomes a conscious choice
- lots of peace and quiet and alone time when needed
- choosing own decoration and furnishings

Cons:
- missing each other if you have busy schedules
- not being seen by the rest of the world as a "serious" relationship

OP’s posts: |
BestestBrownies Fri 10-Jul-20 07:13:32

DP and I joke about doing this in future once we’re retired.

That we’ll have separate (but adjoining), flats. Mine will be minimal, stylish and an oasis of calm. His will be full of nick-nacks and TV/radio noise. We’ll have meals and spend time together, but be able to retreat to our own spaces whenever we like.

My Gran had a very similar set up and nobody batted an eye. I have to admit that the older we get the more tempting the idea is becoming

TwilightPeace Fri 10-Jul-20 07:15:31

I think it’s a great idea! Many relationships would be happier and healthier and probably last much longer.

Bluewavescrashing Fri 10-Jul-20 07:16:10

No but I have my own bedroom and ensuite in our house. DH has his own too. Love my own space and so does he!

SteelyPanther Fri 10-Jul-20 07:17:18

OMG I would love to live without hubby. It’s my dream.

Toilenstripes Fri 10-Jul-20 07:20:31

No, but I love it when my DH goes out of town for work a few times a year. He’s leaving Sunday for a week and I cannot wait for:

No snoring
My favourite movies
KFC and wine night

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink Fri 10-Jul-20 07:20:35

No, I’d like us to be in the same home. But maybe with a wing each, shared living room and definitely separate bedrooms.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Fri 10-Jul-20 07:27:36

I’m also a no. I love having my DH around and miss him when he’s on a work trip. However, if money were no object I’d have a full time house keeper, a part time nanny and two separate en suites.

Thisisworsethananticpated Fri 10-Jul-20 08:10:02

Yes
Live on my own for the past 6 months and no desire to change ! Let’s hope
I stay this way grin

imarocketman50 Fri 10-Jul-20 08:25:15

I love living with my DH but we have our own bedrooms. We have a much better relationship for it and both get a good nights sleep every night.

EmmaJR1 Fri 10-Jul-20 08:31:52

God yes! It would be amazing. My dh is so messy and whistles/sings/listens to crap TikTok on his phone!

I would have a lovely, organised, quiet, beautifully decorated house!!

mindutopia Fri 10-Jul-20 10:49:38

Gosh no, I've lived on my own plenty and while it was fine, I married dh because I genuinely prefer his company to my own and I like having someone to share things with, both the fun things and the work of being an adult.

ThirtyAndASmidgen Fri 10-Jul-20 10:53:18

No, even though I could afford to. Living alone was better than living with a bad partner, though.

Gildedbrooks Fri 10-Jul-20 11:01:25

I've been married 3 years and before lockdown, DH and I hadn't spent more than week together. We live 60 miles apart. We're really very happy and the sex is 👌

ExtremelyBoldSquirrels Fri 10-Jul-20 11:03:45

I wouldn’t want to. I have lived alone (albeit with kids) at various points in my life.

It’s much better than living with someone awful (and I have done that - for far too long), but I really like living with DH. I’d really hate to live separately from him.

I never feel that it’s a case of adhering to someone else’s standards or expectations. Actually, I find that I get really lazy/demotivated about cleaning and cooking and such like if I’m the only adult living in the house. Living with someone brings out the best in me: I am much less lazy about things and, as a result, I feel better about life generally.

Plus, I really just like DH being around.

BarbedBloom Fri 10-Jul-20 11:03:51

No, am very happy living together

Somethingorotherorother Fri 10-Jul-20 11:04:09

This is a pretty depressing thread - no, i wouldn't want to live away from my husband! I like living with him, sleeping next to him every night, sharing space with him... that's why I married him.

Emeraldshamrock Fri 10-Jul-20 11:06:56

Some days for petty reasons I'd like to live alone but most days I'm happy living together.
I know for my eldest Dsis she would not give it a second thought she'd be gone from her verbally abusive controlling relationship it is sad and a waste of her life.

Kust Fri 10-Jul-20 11:09:00

My DP and I live apart and its fantastic. We spend 3/4/5 nights a week together but can escape when needed. We are much older though (in our 50's) and both lived alone for 5 + plus before we met.

In my former relationships it would have been weird because children were involved.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 10-Jul-20 11:11:17

No.
At the moment I'm living with my teens, been seeing someone for a couple of years ago who I spend a few nights a week with and have spent longer periods over Christmas and holidays with. I'd like to live with him, but atm don't feel it's the right thing for my family, so am waiting.

I like living with another adult whom I am emotionally & sexually connected to. I like spending time together, snuggling together, having someone to share my life with, caring for and being cared for.

The only time in my life I might have said yes was towards the end of my 1st marriage when I preferred it when my H was away.

GreyGardens88 Fri 10-Jul-20 11:12:31

Yes I think most couples only live together for financial reasons. I mean it's very hard to afford a nice house when you're on your own and don't have two sets of savings and salary to put into it.

I think a good way forward is sleeping in separate bedrooms

Strawberrycreamsundae Fri 10-Jul-20 11:12:46

Yep.
My idea of heavenly bliss! Bring it on!

PumpkinP Fri 10-Jul-20 11:13:41

I didn't live with my ex and we had children, it was his choice though and I wasn't happy about it. I posted about something to do with ex on another site and got absolutely berated for not living together and told he must have just been a fuck buddy! I must admit I only see it on MN where people seem to hate living with their partners .

Loveinatimeofcovid Fri 10-Jul-20 11:14:59

I sometimes fantasise about living alone, but in reality I find it lonely. That said DH often comes home late/goes away for a few days so I get the best of both worlds.

nancybotwinbloom Fri 10-Jul-20 11:15:28

I would seriously consider buying next door and making a door at the top of the landing.

I love my own space and lockdown has highlighted this even more for me.

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