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No moving on

(2 Posts)
Greenrebel Fri 10-Jul-20 06:27:39

First post but long time lurker, ExDh walked out over three years ago leaving me and three kids,marraige hadnt being going too well for few years but never thought he would leave. ExDh has anger management issues due to work problems and a huge personal tragedy in his family some years before . Anyway I presumed he would try and come back in time which he didn't,he went from place to place ,moved in with a woman for a year,as friends 😀but I subsequently discovered they had been having an affair . Meanwhile I got on with life with our dcs ,two are adults now and he has never paid maintenance yet sees youngest when he likes . After a year I met someone else through OLD and we are together since,he lives three hours away so I usually travel to his place every second weekend,however ex has a huge problem with this ,not so much me,but any of the dc meeting him, and has turned them against my partner . As the Dc are actually afraid of their father they don't want my partner to visit or me to move on . He tells the youngest that my partner is a dirty man and not to talk to him . He also texted partner telling him not to come near his kids ,luckily partner is a calm laid back person and ignored but I know he's getting fed up of situation now. Ex summoned me to court for access though he's always had access ,and my solicitor now has summoned him for maintenance however everything is on hold now due to Covid etc .

How do I deal with him In meantime ,he rings older ones daily and asks where we are or what we are doing,he's moved into a property now which is only 5 mins away so feels he can call to say goodnight to youngest every night ,I'm all for him to maintain his relationship with his children but it's wearing me down that I am not free to live my own life freely .

Apologies for long winded first post !

OP’s posts: |
Crystalspider Fri 10-Jul-20 13:31:42

Ignore his silly behaviour, surely your older children will realise that you need to move on with someone else and as long as your new man is nice, they will see for themselves and make their own minds up.
Does he come to stay at yours? If you see a long term future with him then keep encouraging your children to get to know him and sod your twat of an ex, keep to your agreed arrangements and don't let him just pop round and take over.
He left you so what does he expect.

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