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Is it true that women are turned off by feminine men?

(81 Posts)
sundestroyer Wed 08-Jul-20 16:26:06

I'm a man in my 20s and growing up was always a bit feminine. A few lads made fun of me for it but nothing too serious. I also have had few friends

I've been told in college by a few women that I'm cute but a bit too feminine for them (in terms of my height, I'm 5ft 4in and my voice). I'm a bit torn. On one hand, I feel I shouldn't care because I should be myself. On the other hand, if I wanted to get a girlfriend, I'd realize that I need to maximize my chances of being attractive and act masculine as most women are attracted to masculinity.

I'm also bisexual which I think might repulse women. Is this the case?

OP’s posts: |
corlan Wed 08-Jul-20 16:29:44

Just be yourself. Bernie Ecclesstone's 5ft 3 and he's never had any trouble pulling women.

BabyLlamaZen Wed 08-Jul-20 16:30:14

Nope! Just meeting the wrong women smile a lot of what you say would be attractive to women, especially if you look after yourself well. You can't change your voice or height so please pleade dont try to be something you're not, as THAT is a turn off!

ComtesseDeSpair Wed 08-Jul-20 16:32:26

Some women choose not to date short men. Some women choose not to date bisexual men. Some women choose not to men who look or act a particular way.

But if you want a partner who will love you for you then it’s pointless trying to be or present as somebody or something you aren’t.

Do things and go places where you’re more likely to meet people who have the same interests as you. There will be plenty of women for whom you being “feminine” (whatever that means” won’t be a negative.

Mumoblue Wed 08-Jul-20 16:34:26

My ex was fairly feminine. And also bi.
We dated for 2 years, and I wasn't repulsed (until he started being an arse which isn't related to how he acted or his sexuality).

I also wouldn't say I'm attracted to masculinity. In fact I find guys who are too tired to masculinity a bit of a turn off.

If someone is turned off by you, they weren't right for you. As long as you're acting decently, you shouldn't try and change who you are, it probably wouldn't work anyway.

SoulofanAggron Wed 08-Jul-20 16:36:42

I like very macho-looking men, but everyone is different. You'll find people who are into you. Tom Cruise is also quite short and allegedly gay, but has always been able to pull women.

I'm bi, and wouldn't find a man being bi a problem at all. Maybe if you went to LGBT meetups etc you might find women who are compatible? A lot of groups are doing plenty of stuff via Zoom.

Bunnymumy Wed 08-Jul-20 16:38:35

Hmm... It depends on taste. And perhaps what you mean by 'feminine'.

I love a bit of pizzazz in a guy for example...
Did you see 'Eurovision' on netflix? Dan Steven's character has me smitten. Where as I'm not normally into him in other things. He's handsome but not my type if that makes sense. So clearly it was the clothes and hair and personality of the character that swung it.

I think a higher voice may be a put off to some but it would depend on the whole package.

Height wise, you maybe just need to go for shorter girls. I'm 5ft 1 and would happily date 5ft 4. I'm sure a few within an inch or two of your height would be fine with it too.

Bisexuality hmmm...I think it depends. It doesnt matter much when you are in a committed relationship, you could both talk about men you find cute on tv xD lol

Personal taste dude. I think the voice thing might be the main hindrance. But it probably isnt that high and other ppl are just joshing ya.

BookByte Wed 08-Jul-20 16:48:04

@sundestroyer depends on the woman, and depends what's feminine about the man.

For example, my DH is reasonably tall and handsome in a way that is a bit feminine (i.e: is a handsome bloke, but it wouldn't take much work to make him look like a pretty woman) and I adore him

He could also be considered feminine because he's very loving and nurturing with pets and kids, and is pretty great domestically, but I love all of those things about him

The right lass is probably out there for you, it just might take time and luck

Iwalkinmyclothing Wed 08-Jul-20 16:53:36

Different women are attracted to different things.

Recently we have been binge watching the TV series The Last Kingdom and there is a character in it that I remarked to my DH is the perfect example of a man who is both a bit camp and very masculine- DH said this was an oxymoron but to me it made perfect sense.

Is Eddie Izzard feminine? I used to fancy the fuck out of him.

Bi sexuality doesn't repulse me. It might be an issue for others; but as a bisexual man why would you want to be with someone who found your sexuality 'repulsive' anyway?

I'd realize that I need to maximize my chances of being attractive and act masculine as most women are attracted to masculinity.

Well, maybe, if the end goal was simply 'to get a girlfriend'... but surely the idea is to have a girlfriend who likes and is attracted to you as you actually are?

thecatneuterer Wed 08-Jul-20 16:58:16

Not me. I've always had a thing for feminine men. I even fancy Conchita Wurst

thecatneuterer Wed 08-Jul-20 16:59:45

Oh, and I'm also not bothered by bisexuality.

SandyY2K Wed 08-Jul-20 17:00:08

Bernie Ecclesstone's 5ft 3 and he's never had any trouble pulling women.

I wonder why women are attracted to the old multi millionaire.

Fluffballs Wed 08-Jul-20 17:02:12

I'm currently dating an effeminate straight man and he's the sexiest I've ever been with. I am bi so I don't know if that plays a part.

SandyY2K Wed 08-Jul-20 17:04:09

It will be an issue for a lot of women, along with your height and they would have you as a friend. They may assume you're gay and just not see you as a potential boyfriend in the first place.

However, the right person will accept you as you are.

Just be sure to be honest with anyone...male or female about your sexuality, as not everyone will want to be in a relationship with someone who is bisexual.

HornedBeefCash Wed 08-Jul-20 17:04:38

No, it's not true
I tend to go for feminine looking men. I am also bi, a bi guy wouldn't put me off and I'm short too 5ft 2in
You are someone's 'type'
Don't change

Josuk Wed 08-Jul-20 17:11:08

You shouldn’t change. And I don’t think it’s possible anyway.
But - being realistic and a bit pragmatic - you’ll probably find more success with other bi-people. Especially where women are concerned.

Perro Wed 08-Jul-20 17:12:44

I’m not really attracted to very traditionally masculine men. I can see that they are good looking but that’s it. I love slim, slightly feminine looking men with nice lips and sharp cheekbones. My DH is very short, and I am not usually attracted to very tall men.
Do the women you meet know that you are bi rather than gay? They may assume wrongly.
You will meet somebody who thinks you are amazing exactly how you are.

KetoWinnie Wed 08-Jul-20 17:13:47

If you are a straight man and not trying to be feminine, i wonder how feminine you are.

KetoWinnie Wed 08-Jul-20 17:14:55

Ah, bisexual. Well that wouldnt repulse me. But it wouldnt be for me.

Idontlikewednesdays Wed 08-Jul-20 17:15:24


Just be yourself. Bernie Ecclesstone's 5ft 3 and he's never had any trouble pulling women.

Millionaires rarely have problems pulling women.

Crystal87 Wed 08-Jul-20 17:18:28

I wouldn't go for a bisexual guy and I think honestly it would probably be an issue for most women. But someone would go for you. You shouldn't pretend to be someone you're not. Just be yourself and let someone love you for who you are.

Somethingkindaoooo Wed 08-Jul-20 17:20:19

Just be yourself.

And be honest and kind. Young women may not yet see the value in that, but as you get older, they will

FedUpAtHomeTroels Wed 08-Jul-20 17:38:19

Be yourself, the right one will come along.
Both my Dh and my Ex long term man used to get approached by gay men when we were out. So they must have that vibe I guess. I never went for the muscle bound men who to me are like peacocks. I prefered a normal nice guy, man pretty (if thats a thing), even if they had a few not so manly traits/manerisms.

madcatladyforever Wed 08-Jul-20 17:40:19

No, I'm turned off by gorillas with big hands and feet who mess up my house.

SoulofanAggron Wed 08-Jul-20 17:40:24

@sundestroyer If you're really bothered about your voice you can have voice training. But I imagine it takes a lot of practice. There will also be YouTube tutorials on how to deepen your voice.

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