So I guess I am coming here to rant a bit and see whether I find anyone who has experienced anything similar to me....
I live with my OH who has full custody of his 4 young children (their Mother passed away.) When we first met around a year ago he told me stories about how his late wife used to say he was controlling, and an alcoholic. He made a big point about telling me he was not an alcoholic, but he did like to have a drink now and then. 1 or 2 beers he said.
Fast forward to now....we moved in together earlier this year. I quickly noticed how much he liked to drink however I have never seen him drink before around 4pm, so I did not consider that he was an alcoholic
because I assumed alcoholics needed to drink as soon as they woke up. Maybe that is me showing me ignorance towards addiction.
More recently, the drinking has escalated. I would say he went from drinking 2 or 3 (strong) beers per day, to 4 or 5. He then started drinking vodka quite frequently on top of the beers, or whisky. He has been through a lot lately but I am trying not to make excuses for him. I think because I have become more aware of his drinking, I started paying more attention to things that were happening and noticed the following:
- One day he walked to the local shop (which is 5 minutes walk away) to get some milk and I watched him from the window down a can of beer and throw it in a neighbours outside bin before coming back into our house
- I was clearing out one of his kids school clothes and found an almost empty 1l bottle of vodka hidden under the clothes
- I have also found empty small whisky bottles hidden on top of the kitchen cupboards
I confronted him on all of this, and he has admitted he has done wrong but cannot explain why he has hidden it from me. He promises he will change and only drink on Fridays and Saturdays but I don't think I can believe him. Yesterday his Mum arrived to stay with us for a few weeks and he told me she brought with her a bottle of rum (I suspect he bought it but can`t prove it!) His Mum and I had one drink each yet the whole 1l bottle was gone by the end of the evening despite the fact I only noticed him make himself 2 drinks.
The long and short of it is I suspect he has a big problem and I honestly don't know if I want to be a part of it. I don't particularly like him when he has been drinking (I have told him this!) He is embarrassing, more likely to be short fused and unpleasant towards his children, slurs his words, pays me endless complements (I am not complaining however when they are alcohol fuelled I find it hard to take him seriously.)
Does anyone have any similar experiences or advice they can share?