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I want someone to tell me sort myself out here

(15 Posts)
Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 14:06:14

I feel like I taken the last bout of abuse , I have just spoken to women’s aid seeking refuge .
Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans .
WTF is wrong with me ?.

OP’s posts: |
namechange12a Wed 08-Jul-20 14:07:57

What did WA say? Well done for calling, that's a great first step. The rest is just habit, there's nothing wrong with you.

Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 14:12:39

I’m got some numbers to call .
Feeling very scared of the future .

OP’s posts: |
namechange12a Wed 08-Jul-20 14:17:33

OP you're going to be fine. It's taking that first step which is the hardest. I'm around for a while if you want to call those numbers and get some advice, am happy to answer any questions. Make those calls OP then have a cup of hot, sweet tea and relax knowing that the hardest part is over.

Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 14:22:35

Thank you I will x

OP’s posts: |
Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 14:35:11

Just called the 3 numbers given by WA no ones answering 😔.

OP’s posts: |
namechange12a Wed 08-Jul-20 14:44:47

Don't give me too much detail OP but what were the numbers for? Were they for a refuge or domestic abuse organisation or what?

SoulofanAggron Wed 08-Jul-20 14:58:16

Just called the 3 numbers given by WA no ones answering

Keep trying the numbers whenever you can. xxx If he turns nasty then call the police.

TimelyManor Wed 08-Jul-20 15:12:31

Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans.WTF is wrong with me ?

If you're still living together you're doing what you have to to keep yourself safe. Everything has to seem normal. Don't let him know you're getting help.

Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 15:19:09

For places to stay,one called me back said they would have a room in a few days.
She advised me to ring DWP to see if I’m entitled to housing benefit to pay for room as I on mortgage but not working currently.

OP’s posts: |
namechange12a Wed 08-Jul-20 15:20:59

Great news!!! I'm so proud of you; I know how hard that is. Get those details sorted OP while you're on a roll.

Natureotter Wed 08-Jul-20 18:50:27

It sounds like you are codependent.

I am too and these YouTubers have really really helped me,

The Jenna Ryan show
Amy young coaching
Mark groves create the love

Have a look when you get a minute. I’ve finally got my self worth back after a toxic relationship.

Good luck op you can do this

Aquamarine1029 Wed 08-Jul-20 18:51:54

The only way your future would be scary is if he's in it.

Myusername122 Wed 08-Jul-20 20:51:03

Natureotter

It sounds like you are codependent.

I am too and these YouTubers have really really helped me,

The Jenna Ryan show
Amy young coaching
Mark groves create the love

Have a look when you get a minute. I’ve finally got my self worth back after a toxic relationship.

Good luck op you can do this

I definitely am codependent. I have been with him since I was 17 (29years) he is very controlling but in a sneaky way .I actually did not realise until recently .
He makes me feel like I need him , he said everyone hates me and I believe him .
I haven’t had a friend in 10 years.
We recently moved house the neighbour invited me in - I was too scared to go incase
I upset him.

OP’s posts: |
Dery Wed 08-Jul-20 22:18:33

"Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans.WTF is wrong with me ?

If you're still living together you're doing what you have to to keep yourself safe. Everything has to seem normal. Don't let him know you're getting help."

This. You're doing absolutely the right thing in making everything seem normal while you plan your escape. He must not know you are planning to get away until after you have gone and so acting as if everything is normal is a very sensible way to proceed.

Good luck, OP. We're all rooting for you.

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