Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Should I message him?(14 Posts)
Ive been talking to this guy since about feb, due to lock down it was mostly texting then we met say in june. We went on a date which i dunno i felt a bit confused about because he said "thanks for the company"
Because i wasnt sure i messaged him and asked if he wanted to meet again and no pressue if he didnt want to. He replied yes but when the weather gets better. Anyway i left it cos i just felt it wasnt much of a "hey lets me next week on this date"
to my surprise he asked for drinks in the park, which we did and after had a kiss i think we mentioned doing drive in cinemas.
He messaged me a couple of days after asking how i was, i suggested if he was free we could meet, he said he was tired and "its a shame i live so far up north or i could pop round for a curry" (like i only live like 30 mins away)
Anyway havent spoken to him in like over a week he didnt reply to my last message. just confused, dont know if i should just text to know where i stand in terms if he wants to meet again.. or are the signs clear?
please no shaming i understand ive gone into detail but dating nowadays is insane and people arnt always clear
I think as he didn't reply to your last text then it is probably best to just leave it and see how you feel if/when he eventually decides to get in touch. Sounds like he's not willing to make much effort which would put me off at such an early stage to be honest.
Please don't kiss people. This could spread the virus and kill vulnerable people.
It's his 'turn' to text so let him text or not as the case may be, that way you'll know whether he's interested.
The gaps between communication/ only meeting up a couple of times does make it sound like he's not very enthusiastic or is lazy.
If he can't be arsed to travel 30 minutes to see you for a curry (you know he meant shag) he's not worth texting. And can't be arsed to reply in a whole week!? I think signs are clear that he's filling time, and is only interested if he can make zero effort. No reflection on you, but he's a lazy (and cheap) dater.
No leave it, you've already expressed your interest and messaged last, it's up to him to make the effort but doesn't seem like he's that interested tbh.
Sounds like he's just not into you. Sorry, but time to move on
Sounds like you are just an option to him if he is bored (sorry )
Sounds like he only wants sex if it’s not too much work. Don’t double text and I would personally block after a week no contact. Modern dating sounds a lot like a sweet shop. He is probably exploring options and you are worth more than being left sat on the back burner. I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to come up with some very
made up bullshit valid reason such as work has been crazy busy.
I think the rule of thumb is that you shouldn’t ‘feel confused’. If the guy puts in the effort, you ‘just know’ he is interested. Good luck 💐
When a someone really likes you it is always clear.
Confusion? Nope. And they are usually game players too, because when a decent person isn't that into it, they let you know that early doors too.
He's not that into you or has his sights on someone else. Sorry. X
He doesn't even sound like he's after sex - he just sounds like a lazy arse !
If you’re even asking the question, the answer is no. He’s not worth the anxiety or energy. He’s being clear enough: he’s not investing much in a relationship with you, which means he’s not very interested. His loss. You can find someone better!
One of my male colleagues was on Tinder with a few women after splitting up with his ex. He slept with some, dined some, and shared with me all the pros and cons. The distance was something that came up ant the fact he did not see himself committing to the commute. Sorry op, you may not be his only option right now, and the distance may he be off putting for you even though it’s not for you.
Please login first.