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I'm so self-conscious

(46 Posts)
need2namechange32 Sun 05-Jul-20 07:16:10

My ex and I have been slowly getting back together. He was/is the love of my life, the one who got away so to speak so I'm so happy. He tells me he loves me and adores me all the time and that I'm beautiful. However, he hasn't seen me naked in like 10+ years and I've had two kids since. My stomach muscles are split, I've got a giant c section scar, loads of stretch marks and a pair of spaniel ears for boobs. Im so excited to be intimate with him again but at the same time I'm so embarrassed. Even when I suck in my stomach it's still a mess and the second my boobs are out of a bra... Obviously he's aged a decade too but he's still athletic and hot as *. Pointless post really but I'm just so nervous.

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PornStarOvaltini Sun 05-Jul-20 08:12:46

It's all about confidence op - if you are or act it then that is hot.

Perhaps invest in underwear that flatters you & makes you feel good - perhaps a sexy teddy or body to cover the bits you are concerned about initially. Men usually enjoy lingerie. Then work it. He'll be putty in your hands. 🤩

need2namechange32 Sun 05-Jul-20 14:38:14

Thank you. I just feel a bit crap, his ex wife runs like every day and is a fitness freak so by comparison I'm a sack of spuds!

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Sunnytimesahead Sun 05-Jul-20 14:45:29

There is no way he would be with you if he had any issues with the way you look so remember that.
If I were you I would be totally honest with him about how you feel. That way it's all out in the open. You are causing yourself unnecessary stress. Also stop comparing yourself to his ex wife, she is an ex for a reason!

need2namechange32 Sun 05-Jul-20 14:51:28

That's just what I needed to hear @Sunnytimesahead !

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Sunnytimesahead Sun 05-Jul-20 14:53:46

You go girl!
I hope it all works out for you both.

RLEOM Mon 06-Jul-20 23:09:46

Remember he's with you for a reason. And try to be confident. Wear a sexy bra, keep it on if you're feeling really self conscious. I like to sometimes wear a skirt to cover up my slab o' flab. XD

Did you guys date when you were teenagers?

2020firsttimemum Tue 07-Jul-20 00:16:52

And remember, you have grown and birthed two children so of course your body isn't going to be the same as before.

Doesn't mean you still can't be hella sexy though! He obviously likes you so get yourself some underwear that makes you feel good and go for it! Remember, confidence is sexy too!

Good luck op!

Happysunshinebear Tue 07-Jul-20 00:35:14

You are woman. You are strong, powerful and beautiful. You Gave birth unto this world, you bring miracles. Any marks upon your body are battles scars. We should be celebrating them not hiding them :-) You are natures amazing gift x

MarkRuffaloCrumble Tue 07-Jul-20 00:49:15

Once you’re getting down to it, he won’t even notice the things that you’re worried about. He’ll be too busy enjoying himself!

FWIW I’m a size 18 but even as a 12/14 when I met my DP I was very self conscious, as I have terrible loose skin and stretch marks and my boobs were a bit deflated at that point! His ex looks like a Barbie doll so I’ve always felt a bit inferior, but he’s been nothing but lovely about my body and says I’m sexy and gorgeous, compliments my ‘soft natural boobs’ etc to point out that he loves me for being me and he doesn’t need me to try and change myself.

Practically speaking, what helps for me is wearing a vest top in bed - it’s tight enough to be sexy, obvs I can take it off if I want to, but otherwise it can stay on and just gets pushed down so it still covers my tummy but not my boobs etc.

We also use candle light in the bedroom, so it gives a nice low glow which hides a multitude of sins - but means we can still look at each other’s faces!

Honestly though, he’ll be self conscious too - even if his body is hot AF he’ll be worrying about his willy and whether it behaves itself grin. Enjoy flowers

need2namechange32 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:22:03

You're all fab!

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MalcolmFucker Tue 07-Jul-20 20:25:25

Oh god OP I feel the same, have been single for 2 years and too scared to date. Had a csection overhang and lost a lot of weight very quickly through stress, my stomach looks just awful 😩

itsallforentertainment Wed 08-Jul-20 10:44:01

As Pornstar said!
Hey he is attracted to you that's the main thing.
I think if a women knows how to enhance her assets and smells great that's what makes you look good.
Many men tell me they like all types of body shapes and sizes.
I was once told my stretch marks are part of me and nothing wrong with them.
Men don't care like we do.
Enjoy and how exciting.

HollowTalk Wed 08-Jul-20 10:46:42

What caused the break up originally?

hocuspocus22 Wed 08-Jul-20 13:55:13

Oh god don't talk about the spaniel ear boobs 😂 I'm
So depressed with mine I can't even look at them . I really want them uplifted but I know it's over 5,000z I feel such a failure as a women for not letting my partner see them . And I know it really gets to him .

need2namechange32 Wed 08-Jul-20 20:30:47

@HollowTalk I was 22 and he was 30 when we split after two amazing years because he got a job overseas. An incredible job and I was so proud of him and basically made him take it because I couldn't let him pass it up. We both then met subsequent partners, got married, had kids and failed relationships. He moved back to the UK 18months ago, now lives about 70miles from me. I'm now 32, he's 40 and I can honestly say my heart is smiling.

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overlooker Wed 08-Jul-20 21:14:03

Awww good luck to you both. When it’s right, it’s right

need2namechange32 Sat 11-Jul-20 13:00:46

I'm nervous but so excited!

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Whatdoyouthinkaboutthisone Sat 11-Jul-20 21:43:46

Good luck OP, I think it is meant to be between you two smile

Closetbeanmuncher Sat 11-Jul-20 23:03:56

Sexy isn't the shape of the body it's the fire in the soul 😉

This isn't just some one night stand with a random - trust the connection.

I'm excited and it's not even my sex life! 😂😂

Lickmylegs0 Sun 12-Jul-20 07:19:36

Do you exercise much? I’ve had two children, have an ‘apron’/c section scar. I’ve done Joe Wicks everyday with DD and we’ve completed a couch to 5k course - and we now go running 3 times a week. I feel so much better about myself - and was completely unfit before.

need2namechange32 Sun 12-Jul-20 07:59:50

Nope @Lickmylegs0 I'm useless with exercise. Total crap blush. Tuesday we're meeting up and I'm now counting down in hours. Excited much!!

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need2namechange32 Sun 12-Jul-20 08:01:22

@Closetbeanmuncher @Whatdoyouthinkaboutthisone keep your fingers crossed for me!

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Peridodo Sun 12-Jul-20 08:05:44

You go for it OP, I’m routing for you too!

Lickmylegs0 Sun 12-Jul-20 09:08:56

@need2namechange32 believe me I was TOTAL crap too, but it builds you up so gradually. I’m amazed - I’ve never seen myself as a runner. And it’s really done wonders for my self confidence.

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